the princess and the pasta

The weirdest thing about this whole lack-of-a-stomach experience is that I'm not hungry but I think about food. ALL THE TIME. Partially, this is because many foods hate me (chicken, I'm looking at you) and so finding something to eat is a challenge. And partially it's because there are many foods that I love but simply no longer eat. Foods like bread. And rice. And glorious, glorious pasta.

I love me some pasta. I love it so much I dreamt about it last night.

There I was, wearing purple striped tights, a bathing suit and a tiara,

trying to find a place to take a nap, but before I could do so I needed to find a pillow. But all I could find was empty pillow cases. I searched high and low for something to fill them with before deciding on pasta.

Yes, pasta.

Suddenly there was pasta surrounding me.

I try spirelli. To lumpy. Next, I try spaghetti; too pokey. No, no, that won't do....macaroni? No. Shells? No. On and on down the list I stuff my pillow case full of noodles and then thrash around trying to get comfortable until at last I try ziti. At last! I snuggle down into my ziti filled pillow while a talking bear tells me stories and pets my head. At last I drift off to sleep in my dream as the scent of marinara leaves me drooling into my dream pillow.

Which is proof, I suppose, that you can take the fat off my ass, but you'll never get it off my brain.

Not Really A Post

I usually dream very vividly and I usually remember them. And usually? They make NO SENSE.

But last night I dreamt up the best reality show EVER. If I knew someone to pitch it to, I totally would. It was called "Apocalypse". It was similar to Survivor, but much more hard core. The contestants were unaware when the show would start, the crew just shows up at your door and you have one hour to grab whatever you can carry, push or drag from inside your house to help you survive in a remote location the longest.

Of course, there is a twist. Once you've gathered all your stuff, but before you leave, you draw a card that "twists" your fate. Maybe you have to leave behind everything but what you're wearing on your body (if you happen to be wearing your pack, you're golden, but if your pack is on the ground? SCREWED), or maybe you have to take someone with you, but you both have to survive on only your gear or maybe you have to switch places with a member or your household. For example, the husband was the contestant, but the wife has to go in his place.

Then, they drop you in a remote location with a camera and a sat phone (so you can call out when you give up and so they can check up on you at a scheduled weekly time). Whoever lasts the longest wins $50,000 a year for the rest of their lives.

What do you think, would you watch it?