Friday, December 4, 2009

Klassy Khristmas

When my sisters and I were young, our mother worked for the Seattle Indian Center (now renamed something less offensive like Northwest Center for Native American Heritage). It was, as indicated in the name, primarily dedicated to social services for disenfranchised Natives. They had day cares, work centers, etc.


They also frequently hosted pow wows, pot latches and other cultural events.

At the dedication of their new building, the room was packed with elders and members of all the local tribes. We were, I'm sure, the only pale faces in the crowd. Our blond or red hair shown like beacons and KL, who was three and both very loud and very precocious was holding court amid a group of grandmothers resplendent in their very nicest clothing and beaded jewelry.



As the ceremony is ready to begin a hush fell over the room and a dancer dressed in full regalia entered the room.

And then my loud ass sister shouts out "OH MY! Mommy! Look! It's a REAL INDIAN!"

Now, if you've ever taken a toddler to church you know that anything they say that is inappropriate is going to be crystal clear and loud enough to embarrass you.

Every pair of brown eyes in the room turns to look at us. CK and I begin surveying escape routes, but my mom says to KL

"You know Axl (my mothers Aleutian drunk bush pilot work boyfriend)?" and KL agrees she does know him. "And you know Rosemary? (the stunningly beautiful receptionist)" and KL agrees that she does "Well, what do you think they are?"

KL, little fists on her hips doesn't miss a beat and in the tone that children reserve for their parents when they're being especially retarded says;

"They're your FRIENDS"

Later, when Robin the transgendered ex-con got drunk and tried to sell Mum her shoes, she slurrily told her how glad she was that my mother had raised such lovely, classy children.

Which is why today my sisters and I will be posing like this for our holiday cards.



Because NOTHING says Klassy like posing in lingere with your sisters, am I right?

13 little kittens say Meow:

fattie20xl said...

real live injuns?

fattie20xl said...

real live injuns?

fattie20xl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ZDub said...

OH MY GOD.

I say that not about the Indian thing because I'm Native American and it doesn't bother me because I am an Indian and obviously not PC, but WTF is up with the Kardashians?

Their mother seems like a smart lady. Who approved this? What the hell does it have to do with their show, which I watch because they are not very bright and it makes me feel better about myself.

Also, the preggo one is kinda making me sick.

Bj in Dallas said...

yup, could have done without a photo to remind me that the Kardashians are BREEDING!!!!!!!!

So glad you've come back to the dark side, T. Sheila and I were about to road trip to AZ if you didn't surface.

good indian story. I asked my mom while watching a parade with a bunch of bank executives what the horses were dropping out of their tails??????!!!!!!!!!

turd in the punchbowl moment.

Sheila said...

You have returned!! My weeks have been very empty without you in them...

Now on to the Kardashian's. I guess they're just another bunch of folks who are famous for...what, exactly?!

I can't WAIT to get the Thystle Family Christmas Card, to see what it will look like!!

Kr√ęg said...

And here I was just yesterday wondering who Victoria Secret would get to model their new 'Vacuous Slut' line...

mepsipax said...

Thank you Thystle. I think I gagged a little at that card. And the preggo one. Real Classy.
The story on the other hand was hifuckinglariuos. Bout time.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

The Evil Twin was raised by a man who was likely the most racist father on the planet. When my husband was about 3 or 4, he saw a black lady with bleached out and dyed red hair. The Evil Twin, walking along with his dad said, "Look Daddy, there's a red headed n****r." Now that is class! (Ugh - I'm glad he died in 1972 and can't taint my children).

I'm glad the former commenters cleared up that the middle one of the sisters is indeed pregnant. I thought so, but wasn't sure...

flooz said...

I had a baby there, when it was still Fort Lawton. And many years later, went to a salmon dinner once it had became the Indian center. I see nothing at all wrong with that title, but I'm not fond of political correctness--I don't know any Indians who regret being Indians. The Kardazians (as Joel McHale calls them)--what can one say. I wish I had a butt like theirs. Well, I should clarify--only one butt. You know what I mean.

Doc said...

Later, when Robin the transgendered ex-con got drunk and tried to sell Mum her shoes, she slurrily told her how glad she was that my mother had raised such lovely, classy children.

This made me spit out my diet pepsi!

you're stupid and it makes me sad said...

They sure are a classy bunch! You know, once you get past the *peeing on people and filming it* part...

laur said...

Speaking of classy.

Happy New Year Everyone!

HTTP://CLASSYCHILDREN.COM 2-3-4 PIECE OUTFITS UNDER $29. FREE SHIPPING ON ORDERS OVER $40.
COMPLETE OUTFITS. TOTAL SAVINGS.