Thursday, September 25, 2008

In Which Ouiser and I blog together. (<--- I don't claim any of this)

So, I'm trying to get some work done here which is why I haven't blogged ( <-----LIES)

Maybe I'll blog later about my SUPER THRILLING trip to Wal-Mart in which I splurged in a giddy fashion on a vacuum. (<----LOSER)

Probably not. ( <---- That's the truth, about to time, too. I figured there'd be a flaming pants incident any minute.)

In all likelihood because I'm trying to find someone who wants to take a road trip to Nevada with me so that I can buy some Magners Irish Cider, which they don't sell in Arizona. (<----TOLD you we should move)

Although, it would probably be easier just to offer to show the internet my boobs in exchange for payment in booze. (<----not as clever a sentence as you though it would be, was it?)

In the mean time while I'm working (<----really blog surfing and eating candy "cherry" slices), y'all should get a look at this apartment in the Texas area. And let it be a lesson to you on why you shouldn't smoke. Or eat fast food (<----or have a cat)

Is it sad that I instantly recognized those cups as being from Whataburger? (<---Yes, it is)

Um, not sure the Fabreeze is going to be of any help. And also, ironing? Seriously? (<---- now we KNOW this isn't our house)

Not exactly a commercial for Resolve, either. (<----Boy Howdy)

I wonder if this "person" was a blogger? The only clean spot in the whole house are the QWERTY keys.... (<-----I bet she played World of Warcraft, too)

Sweet Jeebus, there's probably a dead cat in there. That might explain the smell (<----There might be dead PEOPLE in there for all you can tell)

"I just can't IMAGINE why my monitor keeps over heating?" (<----bet the Pakistani guy on the Dell helpline is still impossible to understand though)

Ah, breakfast in bed! SWEET. (<----GAG)

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. What the HELL is that on the toilet? I bet it's a drool from a shit demon. We should run. (<----AMEN to THAT sister.)

12 little kittens say Meow:

Nadine Hightower said...

x-quese me while I go vomit!!

Miss Thystle said...

No kidding. I let the house "go" from time to time but DAYUM.

Lorrie Veasey said...

I don't know what this says about me; but i would actually enjoy cleaning that up. Just let me put on my yellow rubber gloves and tie my apron and I am so there. I'll need a mask for the bathroom though.

Miss Thystle said...

DEAR GOD, Lorrie! For reals? That's not right. You need to come over to my house, pronto so we can help you. I'll even let you use my new vacuum as therapy. You're welcome.

kwr221 said...

OMFG, where do you FIND this stuff?

I'm with Lorrie, I actually find it easier (and somewhat peaceful in a zen sort of way) to clean OTHER people's mess.

It's mine that I have a problem sorting out.

PearlsOfSomething said...

I am going to sleep SO well tonight, knowing that I'm not even close to being the worst housekeeper in the world.

Lorrie and Kristin are more than welcome to give my house a good scrub, though. :)

Bj in Dallas said...

why does that have to be in Texas?
L & Kwr enjoy instant gratification, obviously, but that may be more like MONTHLY gratification, once the dumpster arrives outside to start the shoveling.L, you don't need a mask for the bathroom, you need a rabies shot. I couldn't see any cats, they must have gotten the hell out of there.......

question: does Ouiser roll down her knee highs into tubes around her ankles when its gets hot? I've decided when I am old I'm gonna do that when i wear a dress

Miss Thystle said...

I'm sure equally disasterous places exist everywhere, but this one was reportedly in Texas.

I checked for updates yesterday, the cat had gone to someone elses house. So it's safe. Lucky cat.

Ouiser never wears nylons only mens tube socks.

Holly Kay said...

Never thought I could feel SO good about my housekeeping skills. That place is unbelievable.

Thank you for sharing Miss Thystle.

Also, Lorrie Veasey's comment that she would enjoy cleaning that up--hilarious.

Racie Lover said...

On a practical note, I think I recognize those photos from the guy who kept his family prisoner for 3 years in their single-wide, right? That being the case, why oh why couldn't they at least keep the place tidy? I mean, if I had nothing better to do all day than sit around a trailer staring at the tube I could at least be doing a little deep-cleaning. Where are those people's priorities?

Miss Thystle said...

Reportedly, the apartment belonged to a single woman in Houston. But I remember the trailer you're talking about Racie, and you're right, I thought the same thing. When I didn't work, you could EAT off any surface in my house.

Megan said...

I can not comprehend this... Except for the fact that, at this very minute, that exact same couch is in my living room (covered with a couch cover, but still!). Holy shit, this doesn't bode well for me.