Friday, July 30, 2010

The Hell?

I am wearing white jeans today, Kittens. THAT IS HOW FAR OFF THE FUCKING DEEP END I HAVE GONE. White. Jeans. Seriously.

Now, let's examine the things that are wrong with this;

1) I am a slob.
2) I work in a manufacturing plant and there are pigeons living in the false ceiling of my office.
3) I drive an old POS truck that hasn't been washed since 2005.
4) THEY'RE WHITE FUCKING JEANS.


See? I'm not even making this up. I know that's a TERRIBLE picture, but you bitches can just shut up about how I look wrinkled and knock knee'd until you have tried to take a picture of your own thighs, you just don't know how fucking hard it is. THERE IS NO FLATTERING ANGLE. And I don't want to post one of those stupid 'in the bathroom mirror' shots because I hate them and also because the flash makes me look like a white pants wearing serial killer.




I'd keep going, but let's be real here, I need to not be all shouty because there is coffee on my desk just waiting to spill onto my lap.

3 little kittens say Meow:

Lorrie Veasey said...

you're just showing off your skinny thighs.

bitch.

Sheree Burlington said...

I haven't been on your or anyone else's blog in forever - you fricken crack me up. Every time I read you, I want to start an anonymous blog so that I can walk around with my shirt off, like you. Ya, and I'm with Veasey on the thigh thing.

Nadine Hightower said...

I recently had a lapse in sanity and tried on a pair of white pants... The Hell?? THEY SCREAMED!!! Woman!? How Dare You!! I promotely took them off the one leg I tried to pull them up and reached for the blue jeans... in the same exact size!! And oh they went on sooooo good.

White pants Hate Me!!
I am so jealous of your skinny ass and your white pants!!!