Tuesday, June 10, 2008

In Which I Am Hit On In A Classy Fashion

All of my life people have thought it was okay to say whatever random thing comes to mind to me. This makes my life pretty interesting. It's also taught me to think on my feet. There is very little that you can say to me that's going to leave me speechless.

This is an awesome trait to have I've found because most other people are easily made speechless. Especially when talking to someone whose brain has no filter. Like um...me.

But this isn't about what I say. This is about what other people say to me. ALL THE TIME.

Last week I was standing in an impossibly long, slow line at CVS. Because I'm prone to talking (that's what every teacher EVER wrote on my report card, btw), I strike up a generic conversation with the guy behind me.

Slow line I say.
Ain't DAT the truff he says. Gun be hot, t'day.
That time of year again I reply.

See? See how generic this conversation is? See how I am not making any reference to what I am, say, wearing?

Which was this, by the way.

We stand there in companionable line waiting silence for a minute and AT LAST it's my turn. I put down my Midol, my King Size Special Dark, my Diet Dr. Pepper and my Glamour and as I wait, MINDING MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS, my line mate leans forward, his mouth right by my ear and says

I bet you have amazing nipples.

WTF. Are you kidding me right now? WHO THE HELL says that to a random girl in a check out line on a Saturday morning? If I was at a club, okay. If I was wearing a bikini and dancing around a pole, OKAY. But at CVS? While I'm buying MIDOL? Come on now! So I reply;

I certainly do.

I mean really, what else COULD I say?

4 little kittens say Meow:

Nadine Hightower said...

"Well Yes they are."

Holly Kay said...

CLASSIC. What a crazy story. The closest I ever got was being in a line when a drunk elder behind me said "Wow you're good looking. I like my women like my sandwiches--with lots of mayonaisse."

I have no idea what it meant, but it gave me nightmares for many weeks.

kwr221 said...

I left a comment to your comment on my blog - but I thought I'd swing on over and wave hello
I brought wine - want some?

Very funny post. I almost got busted at work reading it.

Anonymous said...

I mean, what else is there to say???