Monday, January 18, 2010

Even Frozen Iguana Poops

I told ZDub I'd blog this week so y'all can blame her for the fact that I'm tormenting the interwebz with my rambling again.

I've been super busy at work, but not SO busy I can't twitter 250 times in five days (not even exaggerating) and in those five days I have declared the following:

* "Vagina" is the new "Aloha"

* Frozen Iguana is the new Baby Jesus

* Sunday is Eat Like an Asshole Day (with credit for the idea given to @biddymcbidson)

* I shouldn't be left alone in a house that contains fabric dye. See also: green stained kitchen counters and washing machine that remains slightly hot pink tinged.

*Pickle Ball isn't the name of a sex game. But it should be.

*White Cheddar Pirates Booty and Barefoot Wine Riesling = white trash nirvana

* Nichole Richie ALWAYS looks high. Or bored. Although she sounds fairly intelligent (or did on Runway) she just looks like she's ready to start making that hang mans noose motion with her arm.

* Zombies are bad conversationalists.

*"Yes Ma'am" is the new "Roger that". "Roger That" of course being radio code for "fuck that and fuck you!"

* as unacceptable as Crocs already are they are infinitely MORE SO when worn with capri pants and black socks

* "Extra-legal" is the new "illegal"

* I need a Purse Monkey. Which is like a Trunk Monkey, except in my purse.

* There aren't enough people in the world named "Shirleen"

I know. I'm incredibly profound when I am having a complete mental break down that stemmed from making FIFTEEN HUNDRED separate pages of photocopies after being told that I suck and should be fired and getting several paper cuts and THEN? Then finding out that they don't need the copies!

I expect this week to be slightly less shouty and slightly more snarky.

If only because my husband is back in town.

3 little kittens say Meow:

Nadine Hightower said...

Nichole Richie...both bored and high.

And it's a bummer men are such a damper to all the fun.

ZDub said...

We are totally speaking again.

The "Vagina is the new Aloha" made me spit out my Circle K Sugar Free French Vanilla Cappuccino when I read it on Twitter.

I heart you.

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