Monday, January 4, 2010


I leave you kids alone for like FIVE SECONDS and y'all write one billion blog posts.

How am I supposed to get caught up? I have WORK to do. Allegedly. My boss keeps saying I do, but really, what does HE know anyway? Oh. How to sign my paycheck. There's that I guess.


I have had the last ten days off and guess what I did? If you guessed "nothing" you'd be partially right. For example, I did not vacuum even ONE TIME. Which is probably why the dining room, which is currently been transformed into a costume shop looks as though a wee little thread cloud exploded. There's seriously about one billion eensy-weensy widdle thread scraps in drifts around the dining room table. It's actually a pretty good look in a "I'll be on the next episode of Hoarders" kind of way.

Speaking of Hoarders. OMG. Are you kittens watching that show? Because it's both fascinating and horrifying. Much like the skin of my belly. Which I assure you that you do not want to see because EW. But anyway. I've learned some very important things from Hoarders. For example, Hoarders are often single. Or maybe not, but the people they lived with are buried in the trash. Also, Hoarders often times have food issues. I wonder if that's related? And EVERY SINGLE ONE of them is all "It's not THAT bad" right up until the point when someone is ready to condemn their house. Then they're all "Oh, I just don't know HOW it got like this!". Um. Dude. Remember the 52,894 times that you put down that thing instead of putting it away and were all "I'll just pick that up in a minute? Yeah. That's when.

Also? um.. yeah. Don't look in my closets.

Let's see...what else did I do?

Oh! My daddy came to visit and let me tell you one little thing: My next husband? WILL BE USEFUL. Because holy cats, does it make a difference when TWO people attack a project. Especially when one of those people has some clue what they're doing. Partially, I suppose it's that my Daddy like to putter. He puttered about my house fixing little things and I tried to lock him in the closet to keep him from going home but he started to cry and then I felt bad and let him out and also gave him some chocolate chip cookies that I made from scratch. That's a lie. It was Pillsbury dough. But I cooked it and that counts.

Which reminds me. Chocolate chip cookies you make at home.; crunchy or soft? I say soft. Crunchy cookies are too store bought-ish. But some people that I'm married too whined and whined about how they should be crunchy and so I made them crunchy and you know what? I'm totally right, they should be soft and he's stupid.

The only other thing of note I did this week Nothing, I guess. Because my life is pretty much exactly like Days of Our Lives except without Stefano DiMera kidnapping my baby, only it's really not my baby or IS IT? And my mother has never been possessed by Satan and my dad isn't an impostor who looks nothing like my real dad but nobody notices because HELLO he has the same name! so it MUST be him! Or is he?

I better go do an investigation.

17 little kittens say Meow:

Jody said...

That horders show scared me to death. I can see the potential when ever I open my drawers. But I guess I figure as long as it is hidden LMAO!!!

Doc said...

welcome back my dear... You are right about those cookies too btw. Gotta be soft.

ZDub said...

I thought you were dead.

I may or may not speaking to you.

Also, did you see the Hoarders where there were maggots in the sub-flooring? It's the episode...oh,'s ALL the episodes.


Eric said...

Soft cookies rule!

Lin said...

I just recently started watching Hoarders & those people have some serious cleaning issues. Sometimes I think they're just dirty & that mean?

BTW, I like my cookies semi-crunchy . The hubs on the other hand likes them soft so I compromise & make two batches.

Nadine Hightower said...

Soft! Always soft!! And warm.

Nadine Hightower said...

Oh and I hoard. But not food. no maggots!!

CK said...

Team soft cookie for evah!

Also, were you not around during puberty? I think mom was totally possessed by the devil at least once.

also, I love how you can't stop Dad from fixing things. He putters until he finds them.

Baylee and Blair's page said...

Love the Hoarders show. Baylee watches it with me and it helps to teach her why to put things away after we are done using them.

We JUST had the discussion of soft or crunchy cookies tonight. I buy tollhouse in the big tub and Baylee LOVES them soft... so do I.... but, Britt makes them crunchy and she HATES that! She told him that too!

Hugs - Tiff

I am Trish Marie said...

I swear my oldest daughter is going to grow up and become a hoarder. She gets attached to EVERYTHING. "No Mommy! Don't throw away that little scrap of paper! It reminds of this one time I was cutting paper with my friend who moved to California."

Last night, I seriously contemplated pulling her out of bed and forcing her to watch it while screaming, "THIS COULD BE YOU!"

Lorrie Veasey said...

OMG I was just thinking about Hoarders this week and wanted to write a blog post about it! Unfortunately, I couldn't wade through all of my stuff on the floor and piled to the ceiling in order to get to the computer in time. In fact, I couldn't find the computer for a week. But it's all good. Not that bad at all.

I don't really care if my choco chips are hard or soft--as long as they have a ton of nuts in them.

Happy New Year Thystle!! XO

rpc said...

Soft. I over baked some cookies a few days ago - not burnt, but way too hard. Nobody is eating them. On the plus side, I won't need to bake cookies again for ages. Every time anyone asks I can tell them that we still have some.

you're stupid and it makes me sad said...

I also did not vacuum once over the holidays, in fact, even for several days after (I know so gross, but it was THE HOLIDAYS for crying out loud!). Today, I paid the price.

And you are totally right about soft cookies. Only Oreos and Peak Freans should have a hard-ish exterior.

mepsipax said...

Thystle baby... you are back. Sheesh, what happened. Lucy you got some splaining to do...

Hi, I'm Amy! said...

I haven't seen hoarders. Need to check it out. Or maybe not. I like choc chip cookies soft, but there's an oatmeal/peanut/choc chip variation that must be crunchy. It's my fav cookie ever. Mmmm. I need to go bake.

ZDub said...

You know you have a blog and people that want to read it, right?

Come back, lady.


Jaime Teele said...

You've been tagged yo.