M is very joiny. She signs up for EVERYTHING. Which would be fine except she can't drive and *I* wind up driving her all over town. (That's a lie. Usually I make her ask other people for rides because I have things to do).
This year, after many years of begging I finally consented to let her work as a cast member at the local Rennaissance Faire. And by local? I mean AN HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES AWAY EACH WAY.
Anyway, the Faire entertainment director holds cast workshops on Wednesday night (a scant 45 minutes away). They're a good way to bond with the other cast members and we usually go.
Except this week, I was pretty sure I had maggots eating my brain (or that I was turning into a zombie. Could go either way.) and so I just dropped her off and holed up for the two hours they did dancing and singing and whatever else it is they do fully costumed on the play ground of a school.
As we're driving home M cheerfully announced
" I learned how to FLUFF!"*
Um. What. The. Fuck.
I assume that some of you are thinking something wholly innocent** and if that's the case I urge you to click here . Unless you're at work. Or around children who can read. Or don't like porn.
If you don't like porn what the fuck are you doing HERE though?
(* she meant arranging your lady lumps so they're properly supported and presented in your corset. But that's far less interesting. So I'm not telling that part of the story)
(**I know, right? Who doesn't know what fluffing is? Some people are so repressed. I bet they still wear white underwear, too!)
(PS. Sorry about the soda you just spit onto your key board)
(PPS. No, I'm not.)
Friday, January 29, 2010
Bet I'll get some interesting Google Searches from THIS one.
Labels: Help Me Baby Jesus, momming, teenagers, wtf
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4 little kittens say Meow:
I didn't have to click the link. I didn't know fluffing had another definition! LOL.
True story: I was a mermaid at a Renaissance Festival. I had to sit by a fucking pond and wave my goddamn tail around in a bejeweled bra. I had a guard and everything. I was like the biggest thing at the festival. I got fired because I was absolutely not supposed to speak (because I was mystical and shit) and I did an interview with the news and my guard told on me.
P.S. This was like when I was 19, not like last week.
I'm old. I had to click. And as It's loading I'm thinking, "please don't be ugly pix of donkeys with women like my hubs showed me yesterday on his new fangled phone."
Whew! It wasn't.
Have you seen the new show called Sparticus, Blood and Sand? There was fluffing. And I think that's where the term Hand Maiden originated.
Thank you have yet again educated me.
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