Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Keeping Him in the dark

At risk of being repetative, one more Operation Obnoxious story.

Scene: Sitting on the tailgate of my truck in the driveway drinking a glass of $5 wine.

Door to Door Jesus Lady: How're you today miss?
Me: (holds up glass of wine) Exxxxxcelllllent
D2DJL: I'd like to talk to you about God.
Me: Okay
D2DJL: Do you know God?
Me: Yes, we're on a first name basis. I call out to him from time to time*
D2DJL: That's wonderful. Let me ask you one question though.
Me: Okay, but just one. This wine isn't going to drink itself!
D2DJL: Will you go to Heaven?
Me: Only if He doesn't look under my bed. **

*during sex. Obviously.
**No, I don't actually have that under the bed. It's in the top dresser drawer.

5 little kittens say Meow:

ZDub said...

You are totally on the highway to hell. And sitting in the back of a truck drinking is how I spent my formative years.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Baby Jesus butt plug....But, I did have to cackle a bit.

KAErk said...

you're going to get me in so much trouble if svu ever searching the webpages i've gone to from you.

Bj in Dallas said...

I stoppped at $5 glass, because we drink $5 BOTTLES in plastic chairs in the front yard and scream at the kids.

I thought we were so alike.

Miss Thystle said...

the whole BOTTLE cost $5. Not per glass. Mama rolls on the low end.