Monday, October 13, 2008

It's always 1983 on the midway

I'm fairly certain that the state fair exists somewhere in a time warp. There is no other explanation for the proliferation of Bolivian Cowboy Hats (tm). And people were buying them.



People who do not seem to understand the ironic glory of an airbrushed trucker hat. People who intend to wear them. On their heads. While sober.

M had a good time though, eating foods that don't exist anywhere but the fair. Things like deep fried mashed potato lumps and turkey legs.



Making out with farm animals



Risking life and limb on rides that may have been safety inspected some time in the Nixon administration







And trying on ridiculous glasses.



which I didn't buy, but now I kind of wish I had. Instead, for my souvenir, I got a sunburn.



(Which goes SUPER AWESOME with my robot hickeys from my sleep study that I redid on Friday night.)

And then, there was Jeannie. I don't necessarily believe in fortune telling and all that, but I also don't not believe. So for $2, I thought, what the hell? And this is what I got



I know it's hard to read, but HOLY CRACKERS is it spookily on target.

Prediction one - "An emergency situation will only be a minor inconvenience" - J had a tire blow out like an hour before. It should be covered by the tire warranty.

Prediction two - "Your stubborn manner will lead to physical problems" - I REFUSE to pick up J's mess. It's part of my campaign for clean. And by that, I mean; I WANT A DAMN CLEANING SERVICE. A few hours later, I tripped and kicked one of his abandoned boots and fractured my baby toe.

Prediction four - "Beware the unexpected" - I had to unexpectedly reduce my staff at work by a third on Friday.

Prediction nine - "Offense will be taken by another to offhand remarks you accidentally make" - Oh, Jeannie, it's like you read my soul. How, I ask you, HOW do you know that I have no filter on my mouth?

Now I'm pretty sure she's some relation of Zolton and I'm glad I didn't wish to be big, because if I had, I'd be typing this using my cane while drinking Metamucil through a straw, hosing down the neighbor kids and wondering wear I left my "good" teeth.

15 little kittens say Meow:

Jane! said...

LOVE the glasses... and the fact that you can get sunburn on your chest. Some of us are just too... vertical in that area.
*sigh*

Nadine Hightower said...

That's the only way to do the midway...corn cob in one and a turkey leg in the other!!

kwr221 said...

The deep-fried mashed potato lumps sound intriguing.

I've always wanted one of those cowboy hats.

I'm just sayin'

t i m said...

When you scoop the lotto with those lucky numbers, I'd like call dibs on 5% of the winnings. :)

Miss Thystle said...

Yes, but Tim, it's American money, so that's like 12 Euro's.

Bj in Dallas said...

where is your fair, or duh, where are you? or is that a secret? I watched those damn people try on those hats, too and wonder WTF?
but the pink ones go well with the airbrushed pink TUBE TOPS!!!!
the ones that show off your hickeys and tatoos (oh, and lack of class...)

Lorrie Veasey said...

I predict at some point you will post pictures of the toe.

I, for one, CAN NOT WAIT

le said...

hello there ... I always wonder about those rides ... look totally unsafe to me :) still can't wait till the kids are old enough to go on them with me:) cheers le

ps I come to you via Ms Lorrie and BJ so blame them ....

Lorrie Veasey said...

Le is one of my faves.

The way we share our readers Thystle I guess it is a lucky thing that I, for one, don't have an STD.

I am hoping you'll submit to voluntary testing at some point.

And BTW- we should prolly come up with some ground rules: like it's ok if they comment with you, but you can never kiss on the lips and they certainly cannot LEAVE me for you.

We should all try to think BIG LOVE. Big Blog Love. But I get to be senior wife and have the blog every Tuesday night.

Bj in Dallas said...

I want the house that is connected but farthest away...cause thats the kind of multiple wife I am....
makes it easy to sneak out and go to the bar....

Megan said...

AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT IS GOING TO COMMENT ON THE GRATUITOUS CLEAVAGE SHOT? Because I see you, Miss Thystle... showing your wares... And I couldn't be more proud! (Said the girl who gives gratuitous cleavage shots like they're going extinct and I should do my part to bring awareness to the cause.)

I'm a crossover from Lorrie's blog as well, and damn if I don't hope I'm more pleasant than a STD! Not that I know how unpleasant a STD is... But I mean, I've heard things... Ok, I'm done.

kwr221 said...

BJ - I'm totally going to have to arm wrestle you for the furthest house.

Um, unless you want to share. But NOT LIKE THAT.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.....

and BTW, damn, is Big Love EVER going to come back on? I am sooo out of the loop.

Bj in Dallas said...

KWR
I get the master bedroom, and then, there's the sled team....

Megan, you are right, we didn't discuss the magna-cleavage. Impressive anywhere, but ESPECIALLY on the midway,,,,

Miss Thystle said...

I'm a firm believer in the gratuitous cleavage shot, just look at the archives!

kwr221 said...

Sorry, the cleavage is old hat, that's why I didn't comment on it.

Been there, seen that....

Not that it's not impressive, just that we've seen it all before...
;-)