Thursday, October 9, 2008

You're Welcome.

Do y'all feel like I've been phoning it in a bit? Yeah, me too. Here's the thing though, this blogging? IT'S WORK.

Saying that kind of makes me feel all Vanna White. Remember that time she interviewed about how HARD it was to smile all the time? And how turning those letters meant SO MUCH to people and that's why she pushed through the pain? Like that. Only with out the sparkly dress. And more typo's.

Basically, my life? Not that interesting. I'm an accountant, people. And I sincerely doubt you guys want to hear about how WICKED awesome it was that I finished my quarter reports in 8 days. Or about how totally hilar it was when I discovered that I'd accidentally changed the year to 2009 and had to re-run 78 checks! OMG. Aren't you just, like, rolling on the floor clutching your sides? Did you know you can make your adding maching type "8008" and it looks like "BOOB"? And then, if you hit repeat, it will type BOOB forever? Scintillating, right?

Which means that I have come up with things to tell you. And you know what? My kid? ALSO not interesting. Likewise, dogs & husband. Pretty much everyone in my life is actively thwarting my attempts to amuse you by doing only normal, reasonable things.

In fact, the only vaguely interesting thing that I have to tell you is that my mother in law, having recently discovered Facebook, is now able to read all of the wall post from my friends that make it look like I'm having virtual torrid, Canadian, pseudo-lesbian love fest, on a pig farm, wearing flannel and keeping tasty young men captive for my own amusement. Where later on, I will make them braid my leg hair and feed me hazelnut gelato from a chocolate spoon.

And that my poop looks like chicken fries from Burger King.

12 little kittens say Meow:

Jane-Fay said...

So, you mean accounting isn't supposed to be funny, cuz... maybe I'm doing it all wrong. I tried the 8008 thing and I must have a Mormon calculator because the 8's are clearly 8's and don't look like B's at all. Maybe I'll go shopping for a new one. Oh, wouldn't it be cool if they had ones that let you change the FONTS!!!???
In spite of your occupation, you are still able to make up some pretty hilaryus stuff... otherwise I'm never eating at Burger King again.

Miss Thystle said...

A changing font calculater? OH JANE. Wouldn't that be a dream?

Nadine Hightower said...

Another reason why blogland and reality should never mix.

Lorrie Veasey said...

OMGawd I will be forever grateful to you. I have been typing in 7734 on my calculator for YEARS and then turning it upside down as my big party trick. (Sometimes I do 07734 if there are kids in the crowd.) And look at that; you've now PROFOUNDLY CHANGED ME.

I am so much better for knowing you Thystle. Before reading you, the one thought in my brain used to sometimes get so lonely.

Darlene said...

OMFG, for reals. I think it should be against the freaking law for RICH PEOPLE to be able to buy LOTTERY tickets.

Frickin Lottery winners, right here IN MY TOWN! All of them are already rich.

Sucks majorly.

Thought you should know. And I lurve ya still.

Miss Thystle said...

HOLY HECK. Ms Butts isn't dead!

Bj in Dallas said...

just when I think I'm twisted, when I'm reaching for the meds, refilling the Chardonnay, a voice says 'wait, go read Miss Thystle' and after I do, i know I can take off the white jacket, cancel the 911 call, put up the meds one more day, but go ahead and refill my wine and say 'aahhhhh...' theres more like me out there...

can you do my taxes?

Megan said...

I used to be deeply involved in all things 10 key, so I found this post pretty damn funny. And while I won't go so far as to say I will never eat at BK again, because let's be real, that would NEVER happen, I will not be able to look at chicken fries the same. EVER.

Lorrie and Thystle, a few more for your repetoire: 577345, 58008, 304. Yep, just like 5th grader, I am.

Bj in Dallas said...

ok Meg, I flipped the laptop over and still didn't get it....
is this some type of accounting conspiracy to make me feel stupid?
don't work so hard, its easier than numbers upside down!!

Miss Thystle said...

should I tell her girls? I am SO DRUNK with accounting power right now!

kwr221 said...

BJ, I too, flipped over my laptop and even squinted, and I STILL dont get it.

...off to look for a calculator.

Anonymous said...

You know, I had a friend in HS and all through college that I called whenever I needed a good laugh. It wasn't that her life was *that interesting* per se, but just that she had this way of storytelling that put me in stitches. Head on over to my FB and look up Amy from Cols coz ;)You guys would really make the world a funnier place just by your "voice".

Landinn