Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Disassembled

There is a dilemma that comes with "Life" blogging. Most of you that frequent here blog yourselves, so you probably know what I'm talking about. It's that fine line between putting it all out there and things that should be kept to yourself.

Where do you draw that line? Certainly with things that would be detrimental to your employment or marriage, maybe even before things that while you will freely admit to them, you don't necessarily want it spread around. Things like, oh, someones Dad looks like the Penguin from the Batman movies. Yes, it's funny, yes it's true, but it's also hurtful. So you keep that under your hat and instead tell stories about how much you drink. Or drank. And where you puked as a result. Funny, self-effacing, you know....safe.

But there comes a time or an event or maybe even a person that you need to talk about. Something that is integral to who you are, or where you're going. Something so massive that you can't imagine NOT talking about it.

Except.

To talk about it is to open yourself up to judgement. Because isn't that what the Internet is for? To judge you and everything you do? Of course, you want it to be favorable, but after all, it's human nature to have an opinion and there will no doubt come a time when Mine doesn't match Yours.

Which leads me, Chickens, to this; to now. I tell you kids most everything. Certainly everything that's important or life changing or potentially fraught with potential hilarity. Or at least with stories about poop.

The truth is, my vacation wasn't a vacation. I had surgery. Gut surgery. Specifically a Roux-en-Y gastric bypass. This surgery detaches the majority of my stomach and leaves me a "pouch" of about 4oz. So, as an example, your stomach is the size of a football, mine is the size of an egg. This means that for the rest of my life, I'll eat only teensy weensy amounts of foods. Not baby food, or protein shakes, or even weird diet food. Real food, just little bity amounts at a time. It means that I'll be dependant on vitamin supplements. It also means that my joints no longer ache, I no longer stop breathing when I sleep and I am no longer in the danger zone for diabetes or high cholesterol.

It means that twenty plus years of trying every diet from Cabbage Soup to the Zone is now over. I am no longer hungry. Not even a little bit. Don't get me wrong, Mama still loves her food, but I no longer need it for anything other than nutrition. I don't wake up every morning worrying about eating "good" or "bad". It means that I have to make myself schedule a meal. Because honestly, I could care less. Food isn't my obsession any longer.

Pooping is. For real. I haven't pooped in like, oh, a week. And let me tell you chickens, THAT is a side effect I could live with out!

27 little kittens say Meow:

Bobby's Dream said...

OMG! I am so totally jealous!

I have been wanting that surgery for AGES!

TAKELOADSOFPICTURES!! We want to see the difference.

I love you but I am hating you right now. Just so you know.

If you love it, I will have it done...somehow.

Thanks for telling us!!!

Miss Thystle said...

As long as you love me more than you hate me!

Maelstrom said...

I hope everything works out well for you Thystle. I had a friend get that surgery and she looks great now.

Bobby's Dream said...

I doooooo! Love you more than hate ya I mean...jealous tho. Insanely jealous.

I want updates!! Loads of them. I sooooo want this surgery and you were smaller than me....so I should be able to get it...LOL!

I want you to do really well though so I can say...I knew you when....

KAErk said...

I got that surgery myself about 4 years ago. I lost 130 lbs in a year, then just stopped. But, its my own fault, I need to continue to exercise and your stomach can stretch out making you able to eat more later. Not for a few years. I can eat most of a 6 inch sub from subway. If you have any quests feel free to ask me :)

Miss Thystle said...

Thanks Kristi! I hope Doug gets that call soon!

Scandalous Housewife said...

Oh shit! Love you for keeping it real! How do you feel?

Racie Lover said...

Why to go Thystleiscious! I applaud your willingness to put your stuff out there and in the process remove a few taboos and hopefully encourage other folks to do the same. We all love your self-deprecating humor because we can relate to it, but not everyone is as honest as you are or brave enough or trusting enough to share our private lives with the rest of the world. You rock!

Miss Thystle said...

I feel fantastic, if tired. I'll post more about it tomorrow, I think...the nitty gritty so to speak.

KAErk said...

I have video of my surgery because they did it laproscopically. So while the camera was in there and being transferred to the TV I asked them to record it and they did. lol

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Good for you! If insurance doesn't cover this for those who would benefit from it, they should. Like you said, it lowers your risk factors for diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. It's like preventative medicine.

Chelle said...

My ex father in law look AND behaves like the penguin. You were talking about him, weren't you.

Best of luck! It takes guts to do something like that.

Jane! said...

Whoa. Good for you! But I certainly wasn't expecting that.
I wish they would come up with a bypass surgery that just installed a switch so the food could bypass my innards. You know, I could still eat a whole cheesecake but I could have it diverted to somewhere else. Haven't figured that part out yet, but I'm working on it.
Hope your feeling okay. Good luck!@

kwr221 said...

You guys got a two-fer didn't you!?

So, like, we've seen your rack... and some other parts, too....I didn't think you were in the range where that was necessary...but MORE POWER TO YA!

They're recommending it for my husband, to help with his diabetes, kidneys, etc.

As for me...I'm a wee bit plump, but apparently not heavy enough for a doctor to recommend surgery...just diet and exercise and what fun is that, I ask?

Ruby said...

I have one super important question: Will This Make The Girls Go Away?! I'm very, very afraid of your answer... :( At least promise me that you will stuff your shirt with balloons and still take pics?

PearlsOfSomething said...

Who's stomach are you calling football-sized?! :p

Hope your recovery is going well and that your next poop is fun!

Lorrie Veasey said...

Sheesh. Fine. I guess SOMEONE has to be the fat girl. That will be me. I will have to find comfort in light of our divergent paths, in a turkey leg or a bag of Doritos. *sniff* Feel free to send me all your fat clothes round about the time you can fit both your legs into one side of your jeans.

This must be documented. Think of the YouTube possibilities for the Incredibly Shrinking Rack.

We all lerves you Thystle, and we judge not. Never would.

sheila said...

Thystle, you are one brave girl! My cousin's partner had the surgery last May, and another cousin had it herself in August. Both look amazing & feel fantastic. And both were diabetic - which immediately went away post-op. Plus, they now totally love shopping.

Like Ruby, I too am worried about 'the girls'. I'll send balloons if they're needed.

But I want to share in the Great Clothing Giveaway with Lorrie. I'll give her a run for her money as the token fat girl! I just like to think that there is more of me to love!!

Seriously though - I'm proud of you!

Nadine Hightower said...

So does this mean you will not be needin' that red dress anymore??

Love you no matter what, you know that!!

jenX67 said...

God's blessings on you as you embark upon this new journey! I'm here by Lorrie's recommendation, although i've visited before. Great writing, too - about what to share? What not to share? I wonder if the great memoirists struggled with this.

holly said...

Good Luck!

Bj in Dallas said...

Good to know where you've been! I had called every backstreet bar in Nogales to make sure the Cartel wasn't recruiting your rack! thanks for sharing, and of course we all wish you lots of little bity snacks and you become the incredible shrinking Thystle!

Blonde Goddess said...

I'm glad you made it through the surgery ok.
There was a guy I knew who died having gastric bypass surgery and it frightens me whenever I hear of someone having it.

I'm happy for you and I'm glad you are feeling good about it.
It's tough to stay healthy in our society and if you don't feel good, it really takes it's toll on you.

You're an inspiration...

Bobby's Dream said...

Damn it, I was coming to tell you to send me all your fat girl clothes but they beat me to it!

DAMN DAMN DAMN!

The Fabulous Sheree Burlington said...

But..but..Thystle - The Girls. What will happen to Ghe Girls?

I have this skinny ass friend who did the same thing. Fricken hate her tiny butt.

holly said...

Oh...I forgot...I am getting a prize for being randomly awesome! How do I collect??
hollybethwest@gmail.com

theneatos said...

Very brave of you to share. A close friend of mine had the ring inserted last Jan. In a year she lost 120 lbs. It was a hard choice for her to make, but, the initial discomfort vs. her health and peace of mind now more than makes up for it.

Best of luck and a speedy (and comfortable) recovery time.