Monday, July 20, 2009

Derailed

Hello chickens.

I am returned from the land of Lost Wages, having only donated $20 to the slot machine cause. Mostly because I didn't do a single Vegas-like thing all weekend. No drinking, no flashing people, no yelling "MAMA NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES" and then stomach bumping a random strangers at the craps table.

Instead, I sat in a bowling alley that was kept at 50* and read a book about zombies. Fun, right?

I only argued with my husband six times, which is probably a record considering the number of hours that we spent together. The only time I even said the f-word was when he started to drive off while I was half way out the car door and then lost my shoe. The swearing occurred as I pointed out that, just perhaps, it was considered polite to wait until the passenger was fully in the car before driving. Call me old fashioned.

Apologies were made in the guise of a Coach purse, which almost makes up for his being an ass, but not quite.

The prime rib went a good deal further down that road, but honestly is it that hard to just BE NICE?

Unrelated to my whining about being married to someone who needs a lesson in manners, I want to know how the hell you skinny girls manage to go on road trips? Because my ass was KILLING me by the time I was done. A new sensation that results, I believe, from a lack of padding around my tailbone region. I seriously considered stopping at WalGreens and buying a hemorrhoid donut, because, damn. OW.

Speaking of DAMN, OW. I am pleased to report that despite the fact my gums are about the same color as a fire engine...the old school red ones, not the international distress green ones...my teeth do in fact look whiter. Apparently, Rembrandt was telling the truth. Still not entirely sure that the pain is worth it though.



Sexy right?

Related to teeth, how cute is Gigibella?

If you look very closely you can see that she has managed to grow three teeth. Two on the bottom and one on the top. Such a clever girl! Even though she feels the needs to howl every time I pick her up. Though I suspect that has more to do with the fact that the last several times I've seen her, her mommy has then left and the poor dear was forced to deal with being loved and snuggled and subjected to puppy kisses


than the fact that she no longer loves me. Because let's be honest, what's not to love about ME?

The little sugarblossom had to deal with my dogs all weekend, since they came for a sleep over.



Jack made himself right at home, because he's got good manners like that.


Speaking of home (what? my thought train has derailed. Deal with it.) Here's a picture of the hair coloring job I did on myself.



I think it looks much different than it did before


But apparently not, because other than the mechanic and the sales guy here at work, no one seems to have noticed. Maybe if I taped a sign onto my boobs that said "Look Up" with an arrow pointing toward my head ?

Lastly and totally unrelated to ALL of the above, if those of you that pray would be so kind as to include D's three year old daughter Violet into you prayers it would be greatly appreciated. Vi has recently begun to have seizures and is currently hospitalized. All good vibes, thoughts and prayers certainly are needed.

5 little kittens say Meow:

Kr√ęg said...

Twenty bucks?!? There are people in Vegas in full body casts that manage to gamble more than that.

I sometimes wonder if I could just repackage "Hillbilly Teeth" as "British Teeth" and make any money...

Cool new do color.

Baylee and Blair's page said...

Girl... you be looking good these days! How much weight have you lost now?

Love the hair color!

I don't know how my ass doesn't fall asleep on long car rides!

Hugs - Tiff

Lorrie Veasey said...

You are looking Very Good, Thystle. I must be your portrait of Dorian Grey.

What is this Zombie book of which you speak?

Bj in Dallas said...

I know people that read Zombie books at Bowling Alleys???

Really??

Downtown Vegas, there are people friggin ASLEEP at the slot machines that spend more than $20

C said...

I'll see your 20.00 at the slot machine, I think that was the only thing we did that didn't involve eating when we were in Vegas last.

Also, which zombie book were you reading? If it wasn't World War Z you need to pick that up immediately. So good!