In addition to anxiety, arthritis, bruxism, sleep apnea and medically induced bulimia, I also frequently suffer from insomnia. I solve this problem by downing Lunesta like Tic Tacs. Mostly, it works.
The problem is while able to fall asleep I frequently find myself WIDE AWAKE in the middle of the night my dreaming having been interrupted by some wildly random thought.
Last night, round three I sat bolt upright in bed and started giggling to myself. I had just had the most brilliant, the most hilarious, absolutely the sentence to end all sentences idea for a tweet. As I lay there snickering to myself, clamoring around on my nightstand looking for my Blackberry, I was so completely proud of myself for fashioning such a clever thought that when I couldn't find my BB I repeated this wee bit of comedy to myself over and over again to ensure I wouldn't forget it.
As is wont to happen, when I woke up this morning, I had completely forgotten it.
But as I opened the front door to go to work I was smacked in the face with the oppressive humidity and it came instantly back to me. Only, instead of being funny it turns out my early morning bout of hilarity is really just... well... a little fucked up.
Now that I've built this completely up, I find that I am unable to find the sort of segway that doesn't just lay it out there. However, you all know that I'm a teensy bit mental anyway and so here, for your reading pleasure is my idea of funny at 3 am.
"If Miss Piggy goes to the gym, does she sweat bacon grease?"