Thursday, July 2, 2009

Not So Funny Afterall

In addition to anxiety, arthritis, bruxism, sleep apnea and medically induced bulimia, I also frequently suffer from insomnia. I solve this problem by downing Lunesta like Tic Tacs. Mostly, it works.

The problem is while able to fall asleep I frequently find myself WIDE AWAKE in the middle of the night my dreaming having been interrupted by some wildly random thought.

Last night, round three I sat bolt upright in bed and started giggling to myself. I had just had the most brilliant, the most hilarious, absolutely the sentence to end all sentences idea for a tweet. As I lay there snickering to myself, clamoring around on my nightstand looking for my Blackberry, I was so completely proud of myself for fashioning such a clever thought that when I couldn't find my BB I repeated this wee bit of comedy to myself over and over again to ensure I wouldn't forget it.

As is wont to happen, when I woke up this morning, I had completely forgotten it.

But as I opened the front door to go to work I was smacked in the face with the oppressive humidity and it came instantly back to me. Only, instead of being funny it turns out my early morning bout of hilarity is really just... well... a little fucked up.

Now that I've built this completely up, I find that I am unable to find the sort of segway that doesn't just lay it out there. However, you all know that I'm a teensy bit mental anyway and so here, for your reading pleasure is my idea of funny at 3 am.

"If Miss Piggy goes to the gym, does she sweat bacon grease?"

4 little kittens say Meow:

Kr√ęg said...

I'm pretty sure she sweats mayonnaise. Although from the claims on that album cover, she doesn't sweat at all. Or even work out.

At least she has booze though.

Bj in Dallas said...

you are sick. Thats why I lurve you.

Eric said...

Personally I sweat like a pig all the time.

Lorrie Veasey said...

we are psychic-ly connected because at the same time you were thinking about the divine Miss P I was dreaming about you giving Kermit the Frog a blowjob. He was all hopped up on something and kept talking about rainbows. You had foisted fozzy bear off on me and he kept trying to play me something on the piano. Our grandfathers kept watching and making snarky comments from the balcony.