Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Smack Down

My child, for some reason, LOVES WWE. Loves. I suspect that it has less to do with the actual wrestling and more to do with the boys. Men. Whatever. With the spandex and the sequins and the pulled punches and the oiled abs.

And because I am THE BEST MOM EVER, I bought her and her bestie tickets. Not good tickets, but tickets none the less.

M and Tobi decided that we should all wear "Wrestling Costumes". Right. So here's what they picked out for me.

Thats a red vinyl dress, fishnet tights and knee high leather boots. AHAHAHAH. No. I wore jeans and a...wait for tee shirt! Shocking, right?

I bundle up the chickens and we head down town where I pay TWENTY FREAKING DOLLARS for parking. To be fair, we were about 100 yards from the entrance, but still. $20 is a little over the top.

We got there an hour early and joined this line

It was totally sold out. Over 70,000 people were willing to shell out $30, stand in 100* heat and then suspend disbelief for a few hours.

Their sign says "Chuck Norris For President" on one side and "Ahoy, My Hardys" on the other. Because apparently we like someone called Jeff Hardy. I was also told we like someone called Finlay and we LOVE the Undertaker.

OMG! Jeff Hardy! OMG!

I'll save you a blow by slippery, oiled, blow by blow by no, really I'm totally going to hit you for reals this time blow review of the show because you can watch it yourself on Friday night if you give a shit. Which I don't.

What I do want to say is that at the very end, when half the audience thinking that the Jeff Hardy/(someotherdudeIdon'tremember) smack down was the grand finale had left, the lights stayed low. The girls started asking if we should leave, but I told them to sit tight, the house lights weren't up so it wasn't over. Sure enough the Undertaker comes out and puts the hurt on someone. Following his 3 minute show the Degeneration X guys came out and did a half hour Raw style show.

The crowd was MENTAL with the screaming. OMFG the screaming.

As the lights start to raise, the six remaining fighters start working the crowd. High fiving kids and posing for pictures. And then, the most awesome random act of kindness happened. HHH (who I'm sure you've heard of, since even *I* have heard of him) takes the hand of a 20-something man and leads him up onto the ring. The kid is going CRAZY, doing the DX thrust and as the camera zooms in on him I realize that this young man has Downs. Of all the people, of all the kids, and pretty girls and despite the fact that it was completely not necessary or expected, this star took the time to give this young man the experience of his life.

As the cameras go dark and the lights come on there on the big screen, bigger than life was the happiest kid on earth.

And that was the moment I became a fan of WWE.

7 little kittens say Meow:

Lorrie Veasey said...


The closest I have ever come to WWE is watching Thunderdome. No, scratch that-I watched 5 minutes of The Hogans on VH1 once. I want those 5 minutes back, btw.

OH: and DAMN GIRL you look skinny in that red dress. I realize you are missing a few pounds and just want you to know I have found them.

sheila said...

Gurl, you are ROCKIN' that vinyl dress & are looking AMAZING!! Good for you!!

OK, that was the sweetest story. And seriously, I even got a little teary. I'm not even lying.

WWE guys are people too!!

momo said...

Not only are you the worlds greatest Mom, you are one totally terrific person!!!

Nadine Hightower said...

OMG! OMG! I want YOU to be my mom!!!! I love wrasslin'!!!!! I have watched wrasslin' since I was big enough to know about it!!!! I sat on my gramps' lap and watched it. I love Cowboy Bill Watts and Danny Hodge. I would sit my chair squarely infront of the TV every saturday afternoon just to see what the dirty things the Sheik would to Cowboy Bill. I was crushed at age 9 when my cousin who I respected told me it was fake. But that did not deter me from watchin' it as an adult. I love Texas Wrasslin' and the Von Erick Family of HOT....I MEAN HOT...Mullets and tight TIGHTS HOT...I would have melted on the spot to meet Cary Von Erick. GAWD...HOT!!!!!!!

I would love to be in the STEINER RECLINER!
Buff Bagwell can drop more than an elbow on me....Gawwwwwd ....HOT!!!!!!

And then Roy came along...well, he didn't get into the Undertaker and Stone Cold Steve. So the days of Wrasslin' was over.

So I know just EXACTLY how your daughter feels.
High Five to you for making your daughter's dreams come are the best mom ever!!

Does Lorrie have a trophy for that???

Kr√ęg said...

Yeah, I was all gearing up to bad mouth wrestling in your comments section. But that has to be about the coolest damn thing I've heard in a long time. I can't think of another "sport" that would do something like that, legitimate or otherwise.

And you rock the vinyl better than Run DMC.

OHN said...

I. Hate. Wrestling. Lots. BUT, a few years back I was in Vegas for a wedding and someone pointed out to me that some guy named "goldberg" was walking through the restaurant...after a brief tutorial, where it was explained to me that if I got his autograph, S3 would be the coolest kid in school, I went up and asked him for a photo (with me) and an autograph. He was not only REALLY REALLY BIG, he smelled GREAT and was like a big teddy bear..sweet as could be.

And yes, S3 was the coolest kid in school that week.

So, I guess for a bunch of big growling, menacing, intimating men, they really are a bunch of marshmallows.

Oh, and the red could make lotsa bucks wearing that on certain streets in a town near me:)

kwr221 said...

I can't get past the fact that either you or M actually HAS an red vinyl dress in your possession.

But you're totally skinny.

And I, like Lorrie, have found your pounds and those of a few others.