Where you be?

Here's the thing. As previously mentioned, I am all hopped up on drugs. Xanax, Welburtin and Zoloft to be exact. With a side of Ambien CR.

This combination of drugs, while it makes me feel better....well it also makes me feel a little bit of nothing. It's good in that I no longer sit, knees pulled to my chest, rocking back and forth rubbing away the skin of my thumb as I worry a quarter, or a pen, or a folded up bit of paper. It's good because I no longer wake in the morning thinking that if I could just sleep more, if could just close my eyes, then it would be okay. I would be okay. It's good because the sounds of my husband chewing his food, that smack smack smack of his teeth coming down on his food, no longer makes me want to stab him to death with a fork. Wound him, certainly, maim him, maybe, but not kill.

I like to call this "progress".

But it also means my neurosis filled ramblings are a little less neurotic. My need to spill my guts to the world just a little quieter.

Sucks for blogging, right?

So forgive me, kittens, for not being around much. They (and by "they" I mean the legions of doctors who've assured me that I'm not broken, just a little bent) assure me that when I stabilize my ability to see The Crazy and laugh at it will be restored.

Until then, here's a picture CK sent me last night. Check out her chubby little knees! Do you not want to nom them? I distinctly recall that red, white and blue striped outfit that I'm wearing. I recall loving it. Which, I must say, is a vast improvement over one of my other favorite outfits, a cable knit, mustard yellow turtleneck and elephant grey bell bottom corduroy pants. With red shoes. Obviously.

PS.

I thought you'd also get a laugh (like I did) out of the note that CK included when she emailed me the pictures...

Hey-
I asked dad to scan a couple of old photos I found when I was home. Here's a couple of you and I.

One thing I love about our childhood photos is that we seem to have similar expressions in each one. I usually look vaguely inquisitive/good natured (rather like the Far Side cartoon about the irish setter) and you look like "take the photo already! geez!"

Anyway, thought you might get a kick out of these

PPS.

Yes, my Gram did use scotch tape and a ruler to ensure that my bangs were perfectly straight and 2" above my eye brows.

Also? My mother has a lot to answer for when it comes to my pig-tails.