Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Bahama Mama

Oh, kittens. I miss vacation already. Did you know in the Bahama's your cell phone call will cost you $2 a minute? So I spent THREE FUCKING DAYS with no Blackberry. I KNOW. At first, I was all shakey and curled up in a corner mumbling "must...tweet...must...tweet..." but then? I found the buffet. Granted, I don't eat much, but OH MY GOD THE FOOD. I ate far more than I normally do and it was AWESOME. Then I weighed myself when I got home. That was less awesome. But who cares? There were ice cream swans! With chocolate sauce! And candied fruit! And huge, never ending trays of cucumbers! It was like heaven, but with humidity.

(BabyMama getting her eat on)

Holy cats was it humid. 80* and 70% humitity every day. I thought I was going to die. Everytime someone learned I was from the desert they'd say "Oh! This heat must be no big deal to you!" Are you fucking kidding me? In the desert we have the good sense to stay the hell inside when the "feels like" temperature is 115*!

But, oh, the lazing around with the doing nothing and the not doing a thing. That was amazing.

I won't torture you with my hundreds of pictures. But y'all HAVE to see the water.

How is that even real? The color was just amazing. I'm pretty sure it's fake. Like how there are no flies at Disneyland, the water in the Bahama's is specifically installed just for show. There's no other explanation so don't try and send me some long scientific reason because I won't believe you.
Also beyond belief? The service! I want to live on a cruise ship. Not just for the buffet. But also for the fact that someone cleaned my room every single day. And left surprises like towel elephants.

And, uh, towel va-jay-jays. Or possibly uncircumsized dingalings.

wearing sunglasses. Because it's vacation, bitches!

11 little kittens say Meow:

Kr√ęg said...

That looks downright spectacular.

I'm surprised you came back.

OHN said...

Seeing you so happy, makes me hate you a little less for not taking all of us with you.

Nadine Hightower said...

Awesome!! Oh I could live on a cruise ship too.

ZDub said...

WTF? That does look like a towel vagina!!!!

Also, JEALOUS. :)

Scandalous Housewife said...

I didn't realized there were camel toes in HEAVEN!

Martie said...

My vacation this year included 7 kids and the muddy ocean in Galveston, Tx. Your vacation kicks my vacations ass.

Bj in Dallas said...

yeah, the bad thing about vacations is that they END.

too bad we were born beautiful instead of Rich, as Super D says.

great photos, you look awesome

kwr221 said...

OMG, I'm so glad you're back!

You know, the AOL welcome page says that a woman vanished off a cruise ship!


Lorrie Veasey said...

Is that a penguin tattoo over your left breast?

Jane! said...

Wow, that sounds even better than rehab.

Queen of the Universe said...

Ahhhh, while I didn't notice flies at disney, I did find (and photograph) a huge ass disney roach.

It sure sucks when reality infringes on your fantasy.

I really hate roaches.

so. my point. Is that water truly that color?