Monday, September 28, 2009

Shirt

Fanny-pack spotting is so over. All the cool kids are now playing a game called "shirt or dress". And by "cool kids" I mean me.

The rules of "shirt or dress" are simple. Is that skankily dressed girl wearing a garment that is meant to be a shirt or is it really a dress? The answer? ALWAYS SHIRT. I'm not fucking kidding bitches. If I can give you your annual gyno exam from ten feet away that shit is NOT a dress!



See? THAT IS A SHIRT, SLUT. A FUCKING SHIRT.

Okay, fine. Maybe she isn't a slut, I don't know her. Maybe she's an amnesiac who forgot she's supposed to put on pants before she leaves the house. In that case? Her friends hate her. Probably because their boyfriends spend all day gazing at the matching carpet and you know what? If you were a better friend you would have told her that's a FUCKING SHIRT and then she wouldn't be hooking up with your boyfriend behind the beer tent. So, really, it's your own fault, isn't it? I hope you've learned your lesson.

11 little kittens say Meow:

Carrie said...

WORD....like my neighbor today wearing her 8th graders clothes....come on already GROW THE FUCK UP....skinny jeans should be banned on anyone over 25 IMO

Lin said...

Doesnt leave much to the imagination, does it? I totally agree that its a shirt too.

Jane! said...

Then again are we sure she DOESN'T have on shorts with the usual half inch inseam?
Shorts or underwear could be your next game.

mysons said...

Sheeet....I got kicked out of school for wearing a dress plenty longer than that shirt!

Jeez aren't their any "parents" anymore?

Bj in Dallas said...

when M2 was still in elementary, I was there one day and a little girl was in the office crying because they had to call her mom because her skirt was too short. Ok, who the hell helped her get dressed and hopefully SAW her before she went to school?

Its the parents. And I agree about the skinny jeans. And the Mom jeans. yuck yuck yuck.

wouldn't that SHIRT look cute with leggings???

Jaime said...

That's a shirt all day long, and she's a slut all day long even if she hasn't has enough casual sex to be considered a slut. You know why? Because her dress/shirt is a clear effort to be a slut, which technically categorizes her as a slut.

Nadine Hightower said...

Apparently she doesn't have parents.

the girls had to pass inspection.
bra...check!
pants...check!
money to call home...check!

Baylee and Blair's page said...

agree with ya! It's crazy how these "kids" dress!

Hugs - Tiff

Roth Wriscey said...

I've always had a weakness for sluts. It seems like they just want to make you have sex with them, without forcing you to put much effort into getting them to. Or really give even them anything in return. I just find that really sweet how they want to make the lives of men that much easier.

Sheila said...

AS my sweet hubby likes to say when we see something like this: Less of a skirt, more of a belt. Although technically she wants this to be a dress, I believe the sentiment applies.

Robin said...

OMG! lmao - I totally dig that SHIRT! (not dress... fuck no, not a dress!!) Too damn funny!