Thursday, October 22, 2009

Miss Behaving

I confess. I watch really, really bad reality television. The sort of TLC shows that make me scream at the television until someone takes away the remote and brings me a cold compress and a shot of Jameson's.

Shows like "My Monkey Baby" and "Love me Love my Doll" make my eye go all twitchy with the hilarious, awesome wrongness. "Obese and Pregnant" makes me stampy and "I Pooped a Baby" (aka: I didn't know I was pregnant, I think) makes me shrieky.

The one that REALLY does me in though is "Toddler and Tiara's". Don't get me wrong, I'm all for parading around in too much make up and inappropriate clothing and insisting that people tell me I'm beautiful. But I'm an adult. And frequently abusive to both controlled and legal substances. Asking a child, a wee impressionable (demon) darling to forfeit playing with Barbies in favor of being one is just...creepy.

Leaving aside the whole JonBennet Ramsey argument, I have to wonder what sort of fucked up psychology leads a parent (an unattractive, often over weight, definitely past her prime mother) to declare that one identical twin is "beautiful" and the other is not. THEY'RE IDENTICAL YOU TWAT.

It's the sort of rabid for fame mentality that leads to this . Not the web site, I don't mean, because THAT is rather brilliant, but the horrible objectification of children that leads both the kids and the parents to believe that they're not good enough as they are.

Not to mention how the really crap photoshop skills cause the kids to look like the spawn of Jessica Rabbit and Ronald McDonald.


Seriously. It's creepy. Especially the first one and the baby with the Wilma Flintsone updo. HOW CAN A BABY HAVE AN UPDO? With fucking pearls? What the fuck is WRONG with these parents?

Go check it out.

(thanks to CK for the link)

9 little kittens say Meow:

ZDub said...

I DVR Toddlers and Tiaras and I'm addicted. These people are batshit effing crazy.

And I secretly with Troy could do pageants because I would show those bitches just who the craziest mom is: ME.

ZDub said...

Also, I heart the show Hoarders.

Baylee and Blair's page said...

I HAVE to comment on this! I think it's a sick obsession and maybe they are making up for not being able to enter pageants when they were little. I LOVE where we live because they will NOT let the kids where "pageant" dresses! No fake teeth, no hair pieces, no make-up, etc... just natural beauty! My friends tease me that I will be on that show one day... I just tell those people to FUCK OFF... I will never be like "them"!

LOL

Hugs - Tiff

Nadine Hightower said...

I've never watched Toddlers and tiaras. My sister wanted her daughter to do the pageant thing.
So when her baby was 18m or 2 maybe RubyJune decided to entry the child in a baby Beauty pageant. She was all dolled up, cute as a bug she was. 3 babies in the contest. Easy Peasy.
WELL, my sister seems to have stage fright....probably my fault somehow. RubyJune is normally very outgoing but when the baby needed to be walked out on stage and paraded around guess who had to do it!! Me.
It was back when I was a size 6 so I didn't mind...I was as cute as a bug!! I strutted my niece out on the stage, we posed like a Vogue model and strolled back...like the show ponies we were.

We were beat out by a cowboy on a hippity hop and that was THE LAST time RubyJune entered the baby in a contest.

CK said...

Happy I could share the horror. Uncanny valley (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_valley) thy name is child beauty pagaents.

Jaime said...

All of these bitches need their asses kicked. As if girls don't have enough fucking self-esteem issues. I see some meth-heads in the making simply to deal with what their fucking fat mothers did to them as children. It's sick and they should be locked up.
sigh.
I hate those bitches.

Sheila said...

ok, that Ronald McDonald baby is seriously scaring the shit out of me.

the only kiddie pageant worth watching is the one on Little Miss Sunshine...

fattie20xl said...

jamesons: it's what's for breakfast....

mepsipax said...

I'm telling you, they should have a license to breed.