Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Polished Toes Are The Keynote of Good Grooming

Hey. Did y'all know that some people on the interwebs AREN'T imaginary? Weird, right?

Today, the blogging world is a bit sniffly and on edge as we wait for news of Anissa Mayhew, a fellow blogger (fellow. Ha. She totally kicks my ass at blogging. And also at tweeting) who was struck down by a stroke. Anissa is in a coma right now and she and her family could really use your positive vibes/prayers/whatever that she recover as quickly and as fully as possible.

Secondly, one of the very first blogs that I started reading and one of my favorites is She Just Walks Around With It. Seriously, Kristy cracks me the hell up and is one of the major reasons that I moved to blogger in from Spaces. Also? She has an adorable new baby named Eve. And those cheeks? OH MY GOD. Kristy also write as site where she reviews products. She doesn't even use the F-word in her reviews. I KNOW, that's some talent right there. And you know what ELSE? She give stuff away. WAY better stuff than I give away. I love her blog. I love that she laid out everything from a gut wrenching divorce, to a new life on a different coast right down to a brand new baby and joys and trials that come with her in a way that you can related to and laugh with because you know exactly what she means when she tells you that the biggest accomplishment some days is managing to shower. It's one of those rare mommy-blogs that isn't a mommy blog at all, but rather a blog that just happens to be written by a mommy. A mommy who puts her baby first but isn't defined by her. The kind of mommy you want to invite over for wine and cupcakes.

And I? Love wine and cupcakes. I also love winning stuff. Like that time in 1986 when I won the Spelling Bee because I could spell "chief" and Bevin couldn't and I'm pretty sure it's only because I was wearing my awesome Little Orphan Annie knickers. (the short pants kind, not the slang-for-panties kind. I imagine my panties were probably Underoo's. Remember those? I loved mine. I had Wonder Woman.) What the hell was I talking about? Oh yes. Winning stuff. Apparently Kristy's contests aren't imaginary because I won a pretty awesome prize from her last give away. Which means that YOU could win the next one which includes a $100 Visa gift card. So go over there and enter.

Lastly, apparently not imaginary interwebz peoples, I thought we'd do something interactive today that may or may not include a prize that I may or may not remember to mail to you in a timely fashion.

The other day I mentioned that a major deciding factor in my life is how my Gram would do or handle something. My Gram, in addition to being hilarious, a kick ass party guest and a gracious hostess is a font of knowledge and I was lucky enough to grow up down the street from her. She taught my sisters and I all kind of important things. Like a girl should always have a red bra in case she needs to flag down a train. That you should always name a child something that makes an easy nickname or they'll wind up called something horrible like Lumpy. That you can get past forgetting anyones name by calling them honey, and that if you can't be nice you better at least be polite.

So that brings us to what may or may not be our contest, but is definitely going to be a blog entry.

What piece of wisdom would you give to a child? What one little thing, simple or not, do you think that everyone should know? What is you version of WhatWouldGramDo?

15 little kittens say Meow:

mepsipax said...

What piece of wisdom would you give to a child?
I would teach a child (and I have one) where to punch people so as not to leave a mark. That shit is important yo. LOL
Actually, that is a very poignant and difficult question. I think there is a type of wisdom found in humor. I would teach that to every child if I could. It takes intelligence, wit, and experience for good humor. These are all important things for functional adults.

Carrie said...

Book learnin' is very important BUT being street smart is even more important. There are alot of crazies out there and a book will not save your life in a sticky situation (unless it is the unabridge dictionary and u Hulk slam someone with it). So pay attention when your parents say, " Do not talk to Strangers!!!","Don't do drugs!", And for God's sake wear a condom!!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

My mom taught me "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar". I try to stick by that.

Bj in Dallas said...

I just learned alot from the previous comments!

My Mom is so wise, and was the cool mom growing up. But she also ran a tight ship and I was scared to death to screw up even when I passed her 5'2" frame, she'd look at me and say 'I'm meaner and tougher than you are'
I still believe it. I'm trying to pound in manners and such into M2 and keep the fear of God and Me in her!!

My G-Ma drank alot of Coke because I hear in the early years, thats exactly what it contained. She also dipped snuff and got a BB gun when she was about 80 to shoot the birds in the trees that shit on her sidewalk. She rocked.

mepsipax said...

My mother was wise and very much tougher than me. I am not a small guy and I am still afraid of her.

She taught me never to start a fight but I better damn well finish it. Also better said as never throw the first punch but always throw the last.
I now have to figure out how to convey this to my mini-me without getting him thrown in jail at school.

Lin said...

Hm...I think I'd tell them to remember that PE in school really doesnt help you in the long run, you'll get past almost everything that happens to you in HS, learn from your mistakes & always wear clean underwear.

Most of this was said to me as a kid by my mom, ha ha.

Nadine Hightower said...

My Granny always said to NOT get married and have kids. A Depression Era Raised Gal, said, "do not get married and have kids!" Tells you a lot about Grandpa!!
My mom, "Never tell people what you spent on something." It's none of their business how you spend your money.
My Aunt, "Always wear a bra. You don't want saggy boobs later."
What I told my girls that they live their lives by...."Don't take Shit from Anyone!"

Kr√ęg said...

Floss.

Sheila said...

Things my Grandma Helen always said:

Wash your face every day. And moisturize. Always moisturize.

Oh, and drink at least one Manhattan every day.

Vanessa K said...

My granny always told my sister and I to put toilet paper down on public toilet seats because "you don't want to flop your twat" on something dirty. Needless to say, I try not to. :)RIP, granny

Chibi Jeebs said...

Well, my grandma would just beat you with a wooden spoon, so we'll forget about her.

I think I'd teach a child the golden rule. So many situations I've encountered in my life have boiled down to the very simple concept of treat others how you'd like to be treated. It's not rocket surgery.

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