Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Tippy Tuesday

Yeah, I know. That title is annoying. Suck it.

Since several of you girls asked about what kind of bra I was modeling yesterday, I figured I'd do a post on a few of my favorite pieces of clothing. Pieces that you can afford. Not in the way that Glamour espouses the frugality of a $300 winter jacket, but in the use-your-lunch-money kind of way. Well, maybe two weeks worth of lunch money. I guess it depends if your lunch budget for the week is $50 or less.

I am extremely anal retentive about my bra's. I hate the ones that give you elbow boob, or wall eyed boobs, or quadro-boob or cone boob. I hate the ones that dig at your shoulder or have under wires that poke you in the armpit. But also, I'm cheap. So while I have in the past found a lovely $96 bra that fit perfectly, I didn't buy it because I'd never wear it for fear of wearing it out. I know, it doesn't make sense. But that's how I roll.

What I have found thanks to Cousin Bunny's recommendation, is the Victorias Secret Bio-Fit line. They come in a good range of sizes (32B-40DD) and HOLY TITTIES BATMAN do they look good! The cups are rounded in a natural looking way and they keep the twins up in a natural, but lifted place. If you buy the "Full Coverage UpLift" you can do pretty much anything without worrying about popping out. I bowl in mine and never have to readjust. But if you want some HELLO TITTIES cleavage, I liked the Demi. That's what I was wearing in yesterdays picture. If you've got good sized girls, you won't want to do a whole lot of bending at the waist, but who wants to do that ANYWAY? They are a little expensive, with an on-line price of $50, though I swear the one I bought was only $48 in the store.

This is the part where you need to pay attention kittens! Go to their web site and sign up for the catalogue and email updates. Yeah, yeah, spam, whatever. Once you're on their mailing list you'll begin to get their promotional mailings about once a month. The email is a little annoying at about 3x per week, but that's what Baby Jesus made Delete for. You'll likely get a coupon for free panties in the mail. USE IT. When you do, be sure to enter the email address you used when you signed up. You don't have to buy anything. Just hand them the coupon and walk out with panties. By putting in your email address at check out, they see you're an active shopper. The more you shop, the more often they send you free stuff. I get a free $9 pair of panties EVERY SINGLE MONTH. The coupon usually includes a $10 coupon for bra's also.

AND AND AND! Twice a year they have a HUGE sale. All the previous seasons colors and styles go on clearance. On average you'll find bra's about 1/2 of their retail price. BUT if you wait to the end of the sale (while the selection is of course not as good) they'll mark them down even further. I'm talking down to $9! I KNOW, RIGHT? You can't even get some crappy disposable Wal-Mart brand bra for that price!

However, speaking of Wal-Mart, did you know that they now carry BabyPhat silver label jeans? Before you even start, yeah, I know, GHETTO. But these jeans are made for the long legged! AND they go up to a size 18! All the stores in my area seem to carry them, so if you're looking for jeans it might be worth searching your local store. They run $25 and have two washes, distressed and dark. All the jean are boot cut. The only problem I have with them is that the juniors cut rides low and I feel like my ass crack is playing peek-a-boo with the world if I don't wear a longer shirt. Oh, one other slightly odd quirk, the available sizes are 0-15 juniors and 14-18 women's. I don't know why. They wear well and wash with minimal shrinkage and have perfect sized pockets to compliment your ass. I hate jeans with teeny-little pockets, don't you?

Lastly, liquid eye liner. First of all, WHAT THE FUCK, man? Do you have ANY IDEA how long it took to learn to apply that stuff? I'm giving mad props (that's how we talk in the ghetto) to the Emo kids for their eye-lining skills. Those little brushes are ridiculous. BUT I found an easier solution! The Revlon ColorStay liquid eye pen! I paid $7 and it's exactly like using a Sharpie. Hey. I bet I COULD just use a sharpie!

That would be a look.

(PS. There's no pictures because I'm lazy. Click the links.)
(PPS. These aren't paid reviews. Although if someone would like to pay me to review there stuff either with cash or with free stuff, I'm totally down with that. Unless I have to say I like it even though I don't.)

10 little kittens say Meow:

Doc said...

Damn, I wish there was a place where boys could go and get free underwear every month.

mepsipax said...

I love being a man. I don't have to worry about bras. Hell, I barely worry about underwear. Unless my pants have holes. That's how I roll.

Bj in Dallas said...

That is such a useful PSA.

I heart you. And cone boob bras,

the W-O-R-S-T.

no pictures necessary, actually, thank you since all the BOYS seem to be showing up over here.....

Hey! This is a MOMMY/BOOB/MEDSFORTHECRZY/ASSHOLE
HUSBANDS territory, fyi.

Lin said...

Ha ha, I'm totally with you on not buying an expensive bra. I'm so cheap that the one Victoria Secret bra that I do own (which was actually a gift), I hardly wear because I'm afraid I'll wear it out. I think I'm gonna suck it up & go buy one a Bio-Fit bra though cause I need something new.

I also love the liquid eyeliner pen. I never could get a straight line with that lil brush :(

Sheila said...

You have so missed your calling -- you could easily have been a product reviewer at Good Housekeeping or something.

May try the bra - I've never had good luck with VS in the past, but maybe they've changed.

I hate sports bras that give you a UniBoob.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I love VS and the bio fit and a few others they carry. I believe in buying the best bras I can afford and I don't mind shelling out $50 for a good one. The underwires never pop out in a good bra, the shaping is amazing. I bought a Miracle Bra tankini - it has the underwire and everything (those "shelf bras" in swim suits just don't hold my rack)- and I love it.

Nadine Hightower said...

I was going thru my bras one day and thought DAMN!! I have loads of VS bras!!! All bought in the manner you stated. If I had bought those puppies at full prize I'd have $1000 worth of them. I recently bought a VSSports Bra....love it!!! No bounce, no pain while on the eliptical thingy and it doesn't look all sweaty. And the best thing of all....I only paid $20!!

Chibi Jeebs said...

Man! All the women-folk are ringing endorsements for VS - you guys SHOULD be getting paid!

I'm so cheap, $50 for a bra makes me cringe... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

P.S. You know they make Sharpies in all SORTS of colours now, right? Everything for your co-ordination needs! Hehehe ;)

Jaime Teele said...

Um - the Biofit is THE BEST BRA EVAAAAAHHHH. My boobs have never been quite so charming as they are now. You should totally get paid for your reviews. You do quite an excellent job. You make me want to buy shit that I have never wanted to buy, and that's the mark of a good salesman!

Lorrie Veasey said...

i can't sign up for the victoria's secret stuff because Cboy steals the tags off my bra and hides them under his mattress. It's his porn. Even tho the pictures are like granny underwear and cross your heart old fashioned bras.