Thursday, December 11, 2008

Side Show Thystle

Me and M went to Mervyn's last Sunday to spend J's money on crap that was Up to 70% off including, but not limited to a back pack, a giant fuzzy pink pillow and a bunch of socks.

Now, me, I'm a simple girl. I'm not a sock fantasist who can only wear Champion socks or what have you. No, if they're clean and relatively the same design then they're fair game. I've even been known to wear one with a grey toe and one with a grey footbed, because really, who is looking? And matching all those damn socks? SO BORING.

However when I buy new socks I think when they should match when I take them out of the package. Even when they are 50% off.

The pair that I put on this morning though? Well, look for yourself.


They aren't even close to the same size. Now, lest you think that I just have one scooted up all weird or something, here is a picture sans shoes

see how the sock on the right is a totally different size? WTF?

Also WTF, why didn't you people tell me that no matter at what angle one attempts to photograph their own feet, it's going to look like you have freakishly fat calves?

Unless, it's not the camera angle and it IS my freakishly fat calves. At which point, then it's WHY-T-F didn't someone tell me I have such gihugent calves? LOOK AT THOSE THINGS. We're into circus side show territory here, people. If I didn't have such a nice rack, I'd probably join a convent that still wears the floor length habits.

Except that, you know, I'm not Catholic. Which I guess might be a hitch to this plan, but SERIOUSLY for good cankle coverage? I would convert. Provided that the habit had a nice v-neck, of course.

17 little kittens say Meow:

Lorrie Veasey said...

I would say you should go with the Hari Krishnas. Saffron is SO your color, and the draping of the robe would still show off the rack.

Lorrie Veasey said...

P.S. The socks are the same size. Your left foot is just bigger. THis is true of boobs too. I kid you not.

Miss Thystle said...

I thought the same thing until I put giganto sock on my left foot and it was still bigger than the other one. Also, my right boob is bigger than my left. I think that's why it's the friendlier of the two.

kwr221 said...

I don't think it's your calves that are the problem. I think perhaps it's an ankle issue.

Also, I agree, maybe your feet are uneven.

I don't know about your boobs, as I have not met them in person.

kwr221 said...

Are they made in China or Indonesia or something?

OHN said...

You DO know that a well placed photo and a stern letter to Nike would probably keep you in mismatched sox for life, don't you?

sheila said...

I think being a nun would be SO limiting. I mean, every day the same outfit...every day, the same hat.
Plus, the black would not accentuate the rack...

Hi, I'm Amy! said...

At least it's your calves and not your face. Calves are more easily covered. My face always looks fatter in pictures than I feel like it looks in person. Maybe I'm in denial. Thank God for Photoshop. I can thin out the cales and fix the socks if you want :)

Hi, I'm Amy! said...

Check this out...
http://s136.photobucket.com/albums/q169/ant42482/?action=view&current=IMG00329.jpg

How do you like them apples? Although now it doesn't really looke like legs... more like hands in a sock or something. Haha.

Jane! said...

I think you will decide to put me in your will when I tell you that cameras are VERY unflattering to ankles. I took the same picture last time I got a snazzy new pair of Chuck Taylors and it took about 50 shots before I got one that didn't make me look part elephant. And I have ankles roughly the size of two chopsticks glued together. We might have been able to straighten this out long ago if you ever published pics that weren't either your T's or your A!
:o)
Show off!

Nadine Hightower said...

Waaaait!!! Back the truck up.... black thigh high hip boots....Very Sexy!!

Hell!! I'd Lick them!!

And one day I was goin' thru my shoe collection...while tanked up on tequila....takin' pix after pix of every shoe I own....at least on the left side of the bed.
and once I was NOT tanked up....I could see the photos in a more lucid way...with more clear eyes...OH Sweet Tea and Holy Buckets....have I got fat ankles!!!!

notice there's no blog about them.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

You took the picture in the morning? Many people have ankle/feet swelling at night. Take a picture tonight and compare them. Oh, and remember to wash and dry that ONE sock on super high heat...that should fix 'er!

Bj in Dallas said...

I heart you that you own:

those tennis shoes
AND
the purple coach bag...

my kind of girl...

Husband Clothes said...

This post is so funny.

Did you prop your feet upon your computer desk to take the photo? I ask bc of the envelopes and stuff. That was a good idea to get the ankles, calves, and socks in full view. However, it seems difficult. Good for you, Thystle!

PS. I think the calves look cute.

Lorrie Veasey said...

Who is the man eating from that bowl in that picture? Is that your DH? And is that dog POSSESED?

Sheree said...

Miss T - don't you just love it that you take pictures of your feet and we end up talking about your boobs?

Speakin' of your boobs, I have an award for all three of you on my site. Because I heart you.

Bj in Dallas said...

what, are you off getting the ankles lipo'd and too busy to post?
I used your name on mine as a code word for tit...

sorry, I've caught the rack disease also...