Monday, November 17, 2008

Dum Dum Dum DumDum Dum DumDum Dum

Morning Chickens!

I, as, usual am none to bright-eyed and bushy tailed. That's because I wax. Wait. What? Never mind. What I MEAN to say is that I once again did not sleep well. I can't even blame the dogs, since the primary reason for my wakefulness was the repeated slamming of the headboard into the wall. And not even the fun way. No, every time my beloved rolled over the bed lurched and slammed into the wall waking me up. Did you know he rolls over about 35 times a night? Neither did I, though I assure you I'm quite aware of it now.

As I tossed and turned myself (no headboard slamming thanks to my petite form...HAHA) I thought about a great many of the most ponderable ponderables the world has yet to ponder.

For example;

* Does the President get spam email? If so, I must wonder how he feels about the implication that his penis is of less than impressive size.

* How do the legs my pajama pants wind up bunched up about my thighs while I'm sleeping? Do I dream of my days as a Rockette?

* Did I remember to take the laundry out of the washer? No, I suspect not. Why does wet laundry begin to stink with in hours? A conspiracy by the detergent companies no doubt.

* Who buys the First Lady's tampons for her?

* Could the President, if he wanted to, change the song he enters a room to from 'Hail to the Chief' to 'March of the Empire'? Because that would be Bad Ass.

* If I were to burp 'March of the Empire' would it gain or lose it's dramatic appeal?

* Is this ring too much for day time?

* No, I don't care. I wore it anyway.

* Why do I always put off things until the last minute? Furthermore, knowing that, why do people ask me to do things for them? Especially unpleasant things?

* I wonder if there are any cookies left?

There weren't. And so I lay down on the couch to the sounds of thudding bed frames and snoring dogs and slept for about 12 minutes. Which might explain why my hair looks the way it does today.But probably not.

10 little kittens say Meow:

Lorrie Veasey said...

Kiki's lists: the up side to insomnia!! I wish I could be as brilliant when I am sleepless, sadly all I can think of is the lyrics to David Hasselhoff's German album.

I love the ring. When are you going to polish the other half of your nails?

Miss Thystle said...

I had a half-off coupon. Get it? Half-off? No? Okay.

Bj in Dallas said...

I dreamed Paul Newman (younger version) and I were making wooden things together in his garage..

love the ring...you can use it as a reflector to start a fire if you get lost on the way to the nail salong

blairspage said...

Ahhh... the nights of not sleeping. Can't say I've had one of those in a while even having an infant in the house. Thank God we had Baylee first because she was NOT a good sleeper. Try waking up to the sounds of the damn dog coming through the kitchen window! hehehehe

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the ring!

Hugs - Tiffany

kwr221 said...

yeah, so.... who won your contest?

Miss Thystle said...

Oh yeah! That is today! Okay, I'll do that when I'm done playing Bedazzled.

Jane! said...

But how do you remember all that shit in the morning? I can't remember the brilliant thought I had ten minutes ago.

Miss Thystle said...

I write them down, of course. half the fun is trying to figure out what I've written come morning. I left out one that said something like 'Mayonaise, malaise, holandaise, welfare.' Kind of wish I knew what the hell THAT was about.

Lorrie Veasey said...

Miley Cyrus.

You're Welcome

Megan said...

I too love your insomnia lists! And my hat's off to you for having those nails and being in the 10 key business! I couldn't hack it.

(Oh, and not being bushy tailed because you wax is brilliant. BRILLIANT, I say!)