I, as, usual am none to bright-eyed and bushy tailed. That's because I wax. Wait. What? Never mind. What I MEAN to say is that I once again did not sleep well. I can't even blame the dogs, since the primary reason for my wakefulness was the repeated slamming of the headboard into the wall. And not even the fun way. No, every time my beloved rolled over the bed lurched and slammed into the wall waking me up. Did you know he rolls over about 35 times a night? Neither did I, though I assure you I'm quite aware of it now.
As I tossed and turned myself (no headboard slamming thanks to my petite form...HAHA) I thought about a great many of the most ponderable ponderables the world has yet to ponder.
* Does the President get spam email? If so, I must wonder how he feels about the implication that his penis is of less than impressive size.
* How do the legs my pajama pants wind up bunched up about my thighs while I'm sleeping? Do I dream of my days as a Rockette?
* Did I remember to take the laundry out of the washer? No, I suspect not. Why does wet laundry begin to stink with in hours? A conspiracy by the detergent companies no doubt.
* Who buys the First Lady's tampons for her?
* Could the President, if he wanted to, change the song he enters a room to from 'Hail to the Chief' to 'March of the Empire'? Because that would be Bad Ass.
* If I were to burp 'March of the Empire' would it gain or lose it's dramatic appeal?
* Is this ring too much for day time?
* No, I don't care. I wore it anyway.
* Why do I always put off things until the last minute? Furthermore, knowing that, why do people ask me to do things for them? Especially unpleasant things?
* I wonder if there are any cookies left?
There weren't. And so I lay down on the couch to the sounds of thudding bed frames and snoring dogs and slept for about 12 minutes. Which might explain why my hair looks the way it does today.But probably not.
Monday, November 17, 2008