Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Bad Whitey

OMG, y'all. I am going to Color Blind-We shall overcome-One Love hell. Which is different from Mormon hell, Mom hell, wife hell and all of the other deservedly hot after worlds no doubt holding a place for me.

M has two best friends. They are both named Casey*. One Casey is of Hispanic/Caucasian descent and the other is African American. Because the kids are all out of school M and I have some version of the following conversation about once a day

M:Cn I go 2 Csy hse?

Me: Did you do your chores?

M: uh, letz say yes

Me: Then you can.

Me: Wait. Which Casey?

M: Casey Goodman

Me: Is that Black Casey or Mexican Casey?

SEE? See what I did just there? I broke every rule we ever learned at those yearly diversity assemblies where there were skits about how we are all the same on the inside.

But on the other hand, what the hell else am I supposed to do? Call one brunette Casey? Because they're both brunettes. Or maybe Skinny Casey? Because let's be honest, that makes the other one Fat Casey and that's really not any better. Also unacceptable is Smart Casey and Pretty Casey, because they are both great students and pretty girls.

So what am I supposed to do?

Help me out here, peeps. Is it really that bad to call one Black Casey and the other Mexican Casey? I mean, it's not like they don't KNOW they are either black or Mexican. And it's not like I mean it in a disparaging way, more like I would say "Red Haired Casey" or "Boy Casey" were one a ginger kid and the other a man.

Assuage my middle class suburban white guilt here!

*they are not really named Casey.

7 little kittens say Meow:

Bj in Dallas said...

Do not feel bad, I mean, you would also say "Purple Casey" or "Orange Casey", right? M2 went to school with a zillion 'Michaels' and one had Downs Syndrome so I called him
"Special Michael"........

Kr√ęg said...

I think you'll just have to learn their last names. Maybe write it down: Casey Sanchez = African American and Casey Washington = Hispanic. Make yourself a flashcard or a photo chart or something.

Or just come off as a bit racist. Whatever.

sheila said...

I think that you might just have to (gulp) learn their last names. I know, it's not as much fun, but in the end you know its the right thing to do...

blairspage said...

I wouldn't feel bad at all! The more proper term would be African American Casey and Hispanic Casey... but, that's longer. You might as well make it short and sweet!

Jane! said...

curly hair/straight hair?
Long/short?
Or perhaps you could just ask which one that is.... let the kid take the pc bullet.

Lorrie Veasey said...

Insert hilariously funny but uber politically incorrect comment here.

Because I got one baby, but the crowd is not with us. Methinks any reference to a book with a small boy being chased around a tree by some tigers might get me in major hot water.

It's a sad day when you're taking decorum lessons from Kreg, that's all I'm gonna say.

The Fabulous Sheree Burlington said...

I'm going with Sanchez & Washington. Just for the record, when I tell my mom about your blog posts, I refer to you as Miss Thystle, The Funny Accountant With the Huge Rack. From the sounds of things, it won't be long before I'll be saying the wicked miserable accountant with the tiny tits.

BTW, Lorrie, I actually have a copy of that book. I have it hidden in a box under my bed.