Thank you, come again.

I swear to you guys that I never beat my kid about the head. I mean, sure, she's brain damaged, but that was totally not my fault. And anyway, I think the fact that she's "special" has less to do with getting her head slammed through a window and more to do with the fact that she's blond.

I could seriously have an entire blog about the retarded shit that M says. But then y'all would think that I let her eat a bowl of Lead n' Paint Flakes for breakfast and then wash it down with a glass of stupid.

But sometimes, OMG, sometimes she says some things that make me sit back and regret that I huffed gas fumes while I was pregnant.

Last night as we sat watching Paris Hilton's My New BFF she turns to me with deep concern and complete seriousness and says

"Can you get mittens with out the little thumby thingy? You know, like for people who don't have thumbs or whatever?"

Completely desensitized to such completely idiotic questions I replied

"Yeah, they're called SOCKS"

before thinking that HOLY SHIT, My kid is going to grow up to be a Wal-Mart greeter.