Monday, June 1, 2009

Like Buttah

Hiya Muffins!

You know how some bloggers get paid to do product reviews and in addition to the glamorous life as a shill-woman they also get cash and free product? Well, I'm not that girl. Which means that when I review products (and that's what we're doing this week for lack of anything else to blog about) you know you're getting my honest opinion.

So, in the interest of keeping you all better informed and helping to stimulate the economy, I went out and spent $50 on crap that I'd seen on TV.

For starters, those of you who are hairy like me and my twin sister Julia Roberts



Understand the pursuit of painless, long lasting, easy hair removal.

So after seeing this product touted all over TV as being simple AND effective, I ponied up the $10


The kit comes with both small and large removal pads, the small being for areas like your face and the larger for arms and legs.

Reading the directions, it stated that the product was most effective on hair a 1/4" or shorter, so the lying commercial directors who show the removal of full length back hair are already taking liberties. I tried it on my not terribly hairy forearms and it did nothing. Literally, not a single hair was removed.


So I figured, what the hell, we'll follow the directions and using the directed three counterclockwise and three clockwise circular removal pattern sanded away at my knee. Because that's what this is, literally. Fine grade sand paper. Sure, the hairs felt smoother, but they certainly didn't GO anywhere. I did develop a nice layer of finely ground skin cells though which disguised my tree trunks by burying the hair in exfoliated dust. TRES SEXY, let me tell you. Once I wiped my legs with a damp washrag, the hair, while sanded to a smooth edge was still clearly visible.

Also? It took FOREVER. I did one leg and it took like 15 minutes. I could have shaved off all my body hair in that time frame.

Cost: $9.99

Worth: $0

Verdict: Don't waste your time and money

Instead:

These are amazing! Five blades, built in shave gel, replaceable heads.

I bought a 12 pack with a "free" handle and shower caddy for $24 at Costco. Yes, they're a bit expensive, but being able to rub your legs together with out having crickets come swarming to the mating call you're broadcasting makes it well worth it!

14 little kittens say Meow:

PearlsOfSomething said...

I second the Venus Breeze! I'll compromise on toilet paper brands, toothpaste brands, and even body wash in a pinch, but even if I were living in a cardboard box, I'd sell my body to afford Breeze cartridges. Which I'm sure would bring me a good rate of return, thus solidifying my decision.

Blonde Goddess said...

I was curious about the rubby off thingys but now I know the scoop thanks to you.
I only have to shave twice a week (thanks to those great Scandinavian genes) so I'll try the venus Breeze!

Kr√ęg said...

Being a guy that is not an Olympic swimmer or cyclist, I really have nothing relevant contribute. But that picture of Julia Roberts made me wish someone invented and sold eye-bleach.

Maelstrom said...

Your hairs are much too powerful for such a puny scrubbing pad. A strong woman needs strong hair removal!

Ruby said...

I've never tried the Breeze, but I can certainly vouch for the Intuition! I LOVE those damn things! (But wonder if Breeze is just as good, only cheaper?!)

Bj in Dallas said...

JUlia Roberts pitts are gross. Didn't know she was that 'naturale'
ewwwwwww

shaving is a PAIN IN THE ASS.

Jane! said...

So I guess this is not the way to take Homer's back from baboon to baby's butt, huh? That's okay, I'm thinking waxing will be so much more satisfying.... for me.

blairspage said...

I second the Venus as well! Awesome razor, BUT I'm still addicted and I mean I've had the same razor (not the head) for 9 years. Is the Gillette Sensor Excel! It's DA BOMB!

Hugs - Tiff

sheila said...

I still have one of these kits in my bathroom that I've not tried. Now I know what to expect. I may give it a try anyway, in order to confirm your results.

I love that Walgreens (or is it CVS?) that has an entire aisle dedicated to Billy Mays & all of the other crap you see on info-mercials. Sweet Hubby & I can lose a good chunk of time playing with them all...

Lorrie Veasey said...

This post brings back horrible memories of a thing called THE EPILADY

which basically pulled the hair out...one hair at a time and in a way that would make you confess to a terrorist plot. Waterboarding is nothing compared to the epilady.

TammyatVenus said...

Thanks for the unbiased review.

I dig your disclaimer cause I work for Venus so may be assumed as biaised but genuinely really love the Venus line.

I will openly admit, I've been curious after seeing the commercials about the removal pads (to me they look like the exfoliating scrub brushes for your face, but I digress)...now, I don't need to be curious anymore!

Thanks again!

CK said...

I also tried these and had much the same (lack) of results. Although it did do a nice job exfoliating the skin! And then, being my father's daughter I started pricing out fine grit sandpaper and adhesives to see if I too could take money from overly optimistic people.

But then I gave up and threw the damn thing under the sink where it lives with all of the hair crap that has never made my hair any smoother, straighter, or shinier than it was before I dropped 10 bucks on the product. le sigh.

Miss Thystle said...

a good sister would have told me that BEFORE I spent the $

CK said...

Well, I think we both know I'm not a good sister. I never ran off with the circus like you wanted me to do when we were ten, either.