Excuses

Charles Dickens always slept facing north, in an effort to battle insomnia - when he travelled, he would carry a compass with him and move his bed around so it was correctly aligned. He also liked to face north while writing, believing it aided his creativity.

I am going to use the "north facing rule" to explain why this blog sucks. My bed faces south and my desk faces west.

What does a clown puking rainbows have to do with the fact that Vitamin Z makes it so that I care about nothing beyond not drooling (noticably, anyway) on myself? Nothing.

You know what also has nothing to do with anything? This

neither does this

or this

or this

But just think, the 45 seconds you spent here you could have spent cleaning the toilets. And so really, by posting nonsense that you have to scroll through before you realize that I actually DON'T have a point and in fact am merely typing because Bejeweled Blitz is on the fritz, noone is twittering anything that needs my reply and there is no one in the office for me to order about, I've saved you from hard labor.

You're welcome.