Everyone's a Critic

Being, as I am, a firm believer that people who “love” to clean their house are either lying or mentally ill, I found it not at all funny that after discovering I had (during my semi-bimonthly scrubbing of the shower) disposed of the empty shampoo bottle that he had festooned with a wash rag cape and shaving cream lid hat, my husband yelled out from the shower; “OH MY GOD, SOMEONE STOLE CAPTAIN SUDSY!” .
So I plotted with the Carnivorous Dust-Bunnies to have the Smelly Sock Brigade smother him in his sleep.
My *next* husband will be a mute.