Your Hair Looks Stupid

I was trying to think of something really funny to post, because what my public wants, my public gets. But then it occurred to me that I have nothing humorous to write about. Not because nothing funny has happened but because the sheer volume of time it would take to set the story up would leave you stupefied and drooling into your keyboard.

What good is a story that has a three word punch line and takes an hour to set up? It’s like those jokes that people try and tell when they’re drunk and half way through they realize that they don’t actually remember the joke and they say “wait, let me start over” and so by the time they do get to the punch line you’ve completely forgotten it was supposed to be a joke and you stand there, staring, until the poor schmuck says “A lightbulb? Get it? A LIGHTBULB?” and you realize that you do not, in fact get it and to be completely honest you’re not really sure what it is anyway. To make matters worse, the next time you see that person you’re thinking about that joke-that-wasn’t-a-joke and start looking for an escape route and spend the rest of the party hiding behind a rubber palm tree and whispering “PSST, is Larry gone yet?” while you wait for the timing to be perfect to make your escape.

I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life behind a fake palm tree, so I just will post this;

Something hilarious happened, but you had to be there.

Stay Classy, my beloved pirate hookers, stay classy.