Love in the 'Hood

OMG ya’ll. You will NEVER believe what happened last night. It’s so amazing *I* almost can’t believe it.

So remember my Quik Trip boyfriend? Well, we broke up. I just couldn’t get over the fact that he can’t seem to remember my name. But anyway, that’s not my news.

Okay, so my *other* boyfriend, Drunk Grandpa? Remember? The elderly, alcoholic Mexican that pees on his house and yells things at me from across the street?

For years, we’ve waved and smiled and loved from afar. I would yell “Hola compadre!” (that’s Mexican for ‘sup dawg?) and he would yell “Hagame, mujere!” (I think it mean, “Good day, beautiful neighbor”). Sometimes he would even sing to me. God, there isn’t anything like the sound of an someone whose drunk off their ass singing love songs in Spanish at six in the morning, is there? It’s just so frickin’ beautiful, right?

Well last night, I was taking out the trash and I saw him sitting on a bucket in front of his garage so I called out “Hola, compo!” and he yelled back “Te quiero!” and then the most amazing thing happened. He came across the street! Seriously, it only took him like three tries cause he kept stumbling and running into things. Those minutes I waited felt like hours and then there he was!

I’ve always dreamed of what our first real meeting would be like.

He smelled like three day old Bud light and sweat. Heaven.

Then, he took my hand and rattled off something in Spanish (probably, “Marry me, I need a green card”) and then, it HAPPENED.

He kissed me. RIGHT. ON. THE. CHEEK.

I could have died happy right then, I’m telling you.

He continued to profess his undying love (or maybe he was trying to talk me into buying him a goat, I wasn’t real clear on that part), but I had to leave him there in the street alone. It broke my heart, I tell you.

This morning, a line of Bud Light bottles graced the bumper of my truck.
Isn’t that ROMANTIC?