Revenge

“Thank god you’re home. We’re SO HUNGRY.”
“I left you lunch money.”
“But it’s COLD outside. MUCHO FRIO. We had to forage. We’re so weeeaaakkkk nooooowww”
“There’s plenty of food out there. I’m sure you found something to eat.”
“No I didn’t. I couldn’t find ANYTHING. I had to make soup. And it wasn’t enough, so I had to eat those French bread pizzas. And M was hungry so she had to eat a chimichanga, but that took too long so I made her a quesadilla. And some toast. And a pop-tart.”
“Well, then, you survived.”
“But there was nothing to snack on.”
“And yet, you didn’t die.”
“Almost. We had to eat chips and cheese. But there wasn’t very much so we had to eat trail mix. And it wasn’t very good, so we had to put some chocolate chips in it and some cashews. And there was only one Kit-Kat bar so the dog didn’t get any and now, he’s mad at you.”
“He seems fine.”
“Maybe right now, but later? He’s going to rub his butt on your pillow.”