What A Cute Outfit!

You know what makes me sad?

Ugly babies.

Our friends (and I call them that because typing "these people we know, who only call us when they need help moving but never even buy any beer for when the move is over and whom we only kind of like" takes WAY too long) have two children; a boy and a girl.

The boy is okay, not really cute but cute in a four year old hellion kind of way. The girl though. Oh goodness. That child takes your breath away. And not in a good way, either.

She looks like a bulldog in a pink jumper. Not a cute bulldog either, the runty one with the crazy eye and the lopsided face.

And she's one of those oozing kinds of babies. You know the ones I mean; the ones that always have a snotty nose, runny eyes and a soaking wet drool bib. She's always sick too. Ear infections, plugged pooper, rash, eye infection, sore throat, fever, cough, blah blah blah.

Having seen her older female relatives, I think there is little hope for improvement either.

The other day, her mother said to me "I just know Baby is going to be gorgeous when she grows up!"

Um….yeah….about that….Not so much.

My friend H had a funny looking baby. H always used to wonder why people only ever commented on her baby's outfit, or size or car seat. He was cute, but good heavens, the ears on that kid. Even Dumbo's mom would have said "GodDamn!" if she'd seen him. I think people were scared they would slip and say "what big ears! I mean EYES what big EYES he has...his ears aren't ginourmous, they're hardly even noticable! Wow! Did you see that bird that just flew by? I think it was a penguin!"

He's still got big old ears, but now that his heads bigger they don't look so out of proportion. I'd even say he's cute.

I don't think there's any such hope for Baby.

I guess we'll have to hope that when she grows up being "differently attractive" will be fashionable.